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Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

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You are here: Home / Body / Constancy

Constancy

Evelyn Herwitz · November 17, 2020 · 4 Comments

My mother used to have a saying, “This, too, shall pass.” I suppose it calmed me when I was a child, but as a teen and young adult, it used to drive me crazy. As is the way with mothers and daughters, I took this as her default dismissal that she didn’t take my feelings seriously. Looking back, I suspect that on some occasions, she was speaking from the wisdom of experience, and on others, she just couldn’t deal with my angst du jour, legit or not.

Lately, however, those words have resurfaced in my mind’s echo chamber. As the pandemic surges and the infection rate rises exponentially, as our nation roils in the election’s aftermath, I have found some comfort in my mother’s saying. After all, she lived through Weimar Germany and the rise of Hitler, transplantation to a new nation with a different language and culture, World War II, the McCarthy era, the Cuban Missile Crisis, civic disruption in the ’60s, Watergate . . . the list goes on.

We were most fortunate, in the midst of all that 20th century strife, to enjoy a safe and comfortable middle class life. And I am very grateful, now, to have the luxury of being able to reflect on our nation’s turmoil without experiencing a major disruption of illness or unemployment or the risks of financial ruin in my own family. This is not the case for all too many of my fellow citizens, which is both tragic and utterly unacceptable.

Nonetheless, especially when I go outside, I find reassurance in the natural rhythms of the world, that there are constants that continue to ground us all. The trees are mostly bare, now, in my neighborhood, their brown and crumbled leaves raked into huge mounds that line our streets. The air is crisp; the light, November stark. It is a comfort, even as the days grow short again, to know that the earth still spins on its axis and the seasons, albeit altered by a warming planet, still turn.

Last weekend, as we walked the Cape Cod National Seashore, I found peace in the ocean’s crash and susurrus, the crunch of sand beneath my sneakers, a gem of green sea glass. On Saturday night, we returned to the beach and gazed at the stars. There were Orion and Cassiopeia, the star cluster Pleiades in Taurus, and the russet pinpoint of Mars, all where they always are.

There were days in the past week when I was feeling so anxious about the power of false narratives that I wondered if my health would be affected. Then I finally told myself I simply couldn’t keep going down that rabbit hole. So, even as I still doom scroll all too often, I take my walks, and I read about Nature, and I remind myself, even as none of us knows what is on the other side—this, too, shall pass.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Shelby Deeter

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight Tagged With: body-mind balance, managing chronic disease, mindfulness, resilience

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Comments

  1. Kathy Pulda says

    November 17, 2020 at 1:44 pm

    This too shall pass right now feels like false hope to me. First I lost my mother last year, then got Covid, and a month ago lost my father. I’m mourning like never before. Every time I think there are no more tears left in me, more come. And this on top of the state of the world. My father used to say when something bad happened, in 120 years it won’t matter anymore. I guess the same as this too shall pass. I am grateful for many things, don’t get me wrong. My family, and as you, no major financial worries. But what should be appreciation, is only sadness and emptiness right now. I envy your appreciation and ability to enjoy so much. Maybe someday I will have that again too.

    Reply
  2. Evelyn Herwitz says

    November 17, 2020 at 6:25 pm

    Kathy, I’m so sorry that this is such a difficult time for you with so many losses. I’m grateful that your health has improved. There is so much stress and suffering right now. That’s why I try to see the little miracles in the everyday. I think that’s really what I was trying to say here. It’s the only way I can keep perspective.

    Reply
    • Kathy Pulda says

      November 17, 2020 at 9:46 pm

      Your call settled me a little. It gave me some hope. Thank you for taking the time to help.,I think that one of the things that was hurting me most was seeing the pictures of my parents young, happy and healthy. And missing that. Right now I just have to feel how I feel. My brother is struggling too. Hospice offers a service for a year for counseling for immediate family members who are grieving. I referred him. I hope he takes advantage of it

      Reply
      • Evelyn Herwitz says

        November 23, 2020 at 4:37 pm

        I’m glad, Kathy. Be well.

        Reply

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About the Writer

When not writing about living fully with chronic health challenges, Evelyn Herwitz helps her marketing clients tell great stories about their good works. She would love to win a MacArthur grant and write fiction all day. Read More…

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I am not a doctor . . .

. . . and don't play one on TV. While I strive for accuracy based on my 30-plus years of living with scleroderma, none of what I write should be taken as medical advice for your specific condition.

Scleroderma manifests uniquely in each individual. Please seek expert medical care. You'll find websites with links to medical professionals in Resources.

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