Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

body-mind balance

As the Leaves Begin to Turn

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It always surprises me this time of year to see leaves already dropping from the trees on our street. I mean, come on, it’s still technically summer here in New England! But the days are growing noticeably short, and less sunlight means less photosynthesis. So, yes, the leaves and other green plants are shifting into autumnal mode.

Al and I took a short hike on Sunday afternoon along a trail by a mill pond for a long-abandoned cider mill not far from our home. It was a bit too buggy for my taste, but the foliage was lovely and the air was moist and rich with the scent of forest duff. Here are a few photos. Enjoy (without the mosquitoes)!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Surf’s Up

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I love the ocean. I wish we lived close enough to walk the beach every day. I find the rhythm of the waves mesmerizing, and the moist sea air really helps my dry eyes, nose, and mouth due to Sjogrens.

Recently, I discovered a meditation technique called Ocean Breath, or Ujjayi Pranayama. It basically involves slightly constricting the back of your throat as you breathe in and out, mimicking the sound of waves rushing in to shore and receding. Here’s a link that describes the practice.

As always, there’s a caveat. If you have heart or lung issues, check with your doctor, first.

I’ve been using a guided meditation on the HeadSpace app, which I find extremely helpful, that varies a bit from the above instructions. It takes practice, but it’s quite soothing. You can do it any time of day or night. Great for easing into sleep, waking up in the middle of the night and finding your way back to sleep, or just whenever you need to take a stress-reduction break.

Breathe well.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: KOBU Agency

The Best Medicine

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On Sunday, I got totally out of my comfort zone. I’ve been taking acting classes for several years, now, and over the past sic months, have also joined with some acting friends in an informal group working on scenes. This evolved into reading a play by Selina Fillinger, POTUS: Or, Behind Every Great Dumbass Are Seven Women Trying to Keep Him Alive.

And reading this very funny, raunchy play together led to a decision to do a staged reading of said play, directed by our wonderful teacher, on Sunday in a theater space. I played Stephanie, the President’s personal secretary, who is the comic foil, a role that included running around in a pink rubber ducky inner tube and rapping the introduction to the Declaration of Independence. Yes, you read that correctly.

I have never done anything like this before, and it was a hoot. I got a lot of laughs and had a blast. My acting friends were all terrific, our director was a dream, the audience totally enjoyed it, and we just had fun. Al smiled through the whole play.

There is a lot of stress in this world. There is nothing like joining with great, talented friends to put on a show and making others laugh for a few hours. The best medicine, indeed.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Caleb Woods

Dappled

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There’s a word in Japanese for the light that filters through trees:

Transliterated as komorebi (kō-mō-reh-bee), it is made up of the Japanese characters for tree, leaking, and sun—meaning, literally, the sunlight that leaks through trees. Komorebi refers to the ever-shifting way that sunlight filters through tree branches and boughs, creating dancing patterns on the ground and illuminating the backside of leaves. It’s one of my favorite things to discover when I walk outdoors. And I love the fact that there’s a Japanese word to capture that sensation.

So, when Al and I took advantage of perfect summer weather on Sunday, we went to Garden in the Woods, a 45-acre refuge for native plants in Framingham, Mass., and I tried to capture komorebi with my iPhone’s camera, as well as some delicate plants—and, of course, some turtles. It made for a lovely, peaceful afternoon. Here’s what I found. Enjoy.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Back to Reality

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As is always the case when I come back from abroad, it all too soon seems like a distant memory. I am trying to retain the clarity and calm I experienced in Japan. But it’s been a challenging week.

Last Thursday I had my regular pulmonary function tests (PFT) at Boston Medical, then saw both of my pulmonologists—one who manages my interstitial lung disease (ILD) and the other, my type 2 pulmonary hypertension. Usually these visits are routine, but this time, one of the PFT results concerned my ILD specialist.

Over the decades, PFTs have gotten harder. Results confirm a gradual decline in my lung capacity and function, but not to a worrisome degree. But this time, my lungs’ ability to transfer oxygen to my blood through the capillaries in my alveoli (oxygen diffusion) has dipped a bit more. So my specialist wants me to start using a steroid inhaler to arrest any further fibrosis. What made this more startling was that he suspects my Sjogrens Disease, rather than scleroderma, is the culprit. This is consistent with the fact that I’ve had significant issues with dry eyes from Sjogrens that have worsened over this past year.

I left with my head spinning. Steroids in any form, long term, are nothing to mess with. The idea that Sjogrens is now the stealth agent totally surprised me. When I got home, I wrote to my lead rheumatologist, and I hope to discuss all of this with him soon. I had a routine appointment with my local rheumatologist yesterday and reviewed everything. He said if the lung issues are due to Sjogrens instead of scleroderma, then it will be more manageable. Also, apparently, there are some new medications for Sjogrens that are due to be available within a year. So that was also encouraging.

Still, it is a lot to absorb. I’m grateful that my medical team is on top of my situation and helping me to get medication that will enable me to do as well as possible. But I am still processing what it all means.

The only constant in life is change.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Getty Images for Unsplash+