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Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

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resilience

Try, Try Again

Evelyn Herwitz · January 6, 2026 · 2 Comments

Every morning, I try to spend a few minutes meditating. I use an app, which is helpful and instructive. My mind wanders as minds do, but I am, over time, getting more adept at slowing down and focusing on my breath.

This came in very handy on Monday, when I found myself back in my dentist’s chair, because my new crown for my fifth implant came loose last week. No so loose that it popped out, but loose enough that it needed immediate attention. Of course, this all happened on New Year’s Eve, when no one could see me for several days. (Why do these kinds of issues always happen on a Friday evening or right before a long holiday weekend?)

In any case, it took two hours of poking and prodding by my long-time dentist, Dr. K, plus several tries to remove the crown and adjust its size so it would fit properly by his partner, Dr. F (she of the smaller fingers and more delicate touch). Ultimately, that did not work. I had been concerned from the get-go a few weeks ago that the crown was too big, and apparently my instinct was correct, because it never seated properly, which is why it loosened up.

So, now I have to return in a few weeks to redo the dental impressions, and then they will order me a new crown. Why didn’t this one fit—a problem I’ve never encountered before, thankfully? It was very hard to take the digital scans, because of my tight mouth, so that might have been the culprit. (For the repeat, we’ll do it the old fashioned way.) Or, as Dr. K surmised, the manufacturer that he’s worked with for years has changed personnel, and his trusted contact who always did things perfectly is no longer there.

In any case, at least there is a solution that I don’t have to pay more for, and the implant itself (what the crown is screwed into) is still solidly in place (my biggest concern). Everyone thanked me for my patience. I was grateful that I could breathe my way through it.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Filip Mishevski

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Taste, Touch Tagged With: body-mind balance, dental implants, managing chronic disease, resilience, tooth resorption

What If?

Evelyn Herwitz · December 30, 2025 · 2 Comments

For years, our younger daughter has been asking me to document how I bandage my fingers. What if you can’t do it and need help? she asks. What do I need to know?

So, last week, while she was visiting for the holidays, we finally got down to the nitty gritty. I reviewed all my dressings, what I use for which kind of ulcer, and she took videos of me bandaging my fingers. Right now, I have five ulcers, with various issues, so it was a teachable moment, as they say. I also guided her as she bandaged one of my thumbs, so she could get the feel of the process. Which she got, immediately.

But we didn’t stop with my bandages. She created a computer file, and we went over all my medical issues, medications, doctors, and more. It was a lot to discuss, and it was exhausting to pull all that information out of my head, but very important and well worth the time and effort.

You never realize how much you do automatically for self care until you have to stop and explain every step, especially for a disease as complicated as scleroderma. And if, God forbid, I became incapacitated, it’s very reassuring to know that she’d have a complete written and recorded explanation of what help I would need. I certainly hope she doesn’t have to access any of that information anytime soon. But at 71, I know I have to be realistic and prepared for more help than I am accustomed to. And I am extremely grateful that she has insisted that we create this manual—and finally did.

Wishing you, Dear Reader, and your loved ones a healthy and fulfilling New Year. This one’s been a doozy. Here’s hoping 2026 is a better year for all.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Jesse Cason

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Sight, Touch Tagged With: finger ulcers, managing chronic disease, resilience

Crowned

Evelyn Herwitz · December 23, 2025 · 4 Comments

And so, on Monday, I got my new crown for my fifth dental implant. It feels odd to have all my teeth once again, always an adjustment after nine months from extraction to finish, living with a space in my mouth.

As it was last month when my dentist and his team took impressions to make the crown, this was not a fun hour of my day. Lots of stretching my lips to the maximum as he manipulated the post into place and then adjusted the crown itself to fit properly. I had to stop him at one point because the stretching was really extreme, and I needed an break and some Vaseline to lubricate my lips.

But we got through it. My bite feels right again. I can speak more clearly—which surprised me. The tooth in question was the first lower molar on the left side, kind of in the middle of my jaw. Apparently, even a space there, not visible, affects your tongue and how you form words.

When I saw my dental hygienist last week, she checked, as always, the status of my other teeth, several of which have been resorbing slowly for years. One of them has progressed—or, rather, regressed—a bit since she last checked. Not a good sign. It has been somewhat sensitive of late, though fluctuating. I’m just hoping that it and its neighbor, the other troublemaker at present, can hold on for a while longer. I really need a year, at least, between these procedures, just to let my mouth (and pocketbook) recover.

Scleroderma brings many, many complications. Resorbing dental roots doesn’t happen to everyone, but I seem to have hit the jackpot on this particular problem. I am grateful to have excellent dental care. Both my parents had partial dentures as they aged, and I’m glad that’s not the only alternative any more. I just wish dental insurance covered implants, which it doesn’t. Given that my issues are caused by a disease, it seems ridiculous that there isn’t some kind of coverage.

Universal health care, anyone?

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Akasha Dhage

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Taste, Touch Tagged With: dental implants, managing chronic disease, resilience, tooth resorption

What We Take for Granted

Evelyn Herwitz · December 16, 2025 · Leave a Comment

Early Monday morning I was awakened by what I thought, in my half-dream state, were raccoons or some other large critters running around on our roof and climbing in the gutters. Then I heard voices outside. I roused myself to look out the front window and discovered a row of city public works trucks outside, yellow lights blinking, and a backhoe with some kind of drill punching holes in the pavement in front of our neighbor’s driveway. Each punch made our house tremble.

Some mighty big raccoons!

The trucks were still there when the sun rose. Turns out a water main on our street had cracked open in this very frigid weather we’re enduring. So, no water for morning ablutions or anything else. Fortunately, Al had left a large plastic pitcher of water on the kitchen counter the night before, so I could use some to remove my bandages and wash my hands before re-dressing them, as well as water to rinse my eyelids, essential for my cleansing ritual for very dry eyes.

Within a few hours, a new pipe was installed and the crew began refilling the large open pit on the street. I went outside to thank them, because I’d learned from one of our neighbors that they’d been there all night. Not enough workers available to cover in shifts (another main had broken on a nearby thoroughfare the same night). The man I spoke with was very polite and informative, and he said our water would be back on soon.

Sure enough, within the hour, it flowed—gritty, at first, with a burst of trapped air, but running clear soon after.

The whole experience really struck me. It’s bad enough when power goes out in a storm. But losing water is truly disruptive. We’re so used to easy access. Just turn on the tap and fill your cup, wash the dishes, brush your teeth. Flush the toilet and, poof, your poop is gone.

It’s easy to criticize the city for a broken water main, for old infrastructure that hasn’t been updated, for all the inconvenience and disruption. But I am truly grateful to these guys for coming to our rescue in the middle of the night and staying the course in bitter cold to restore this most basic of needs. When I thanked the crew leader, he said, “It means a lot to hear that.” Another neighbor ran out and brought the crew a dozen doughnuts.

For all the disparaging remarks in casual chatter, on social media and elsewhere about government workers being lazy, corrupt, or otherwise deplorable, most are honest, hard working, and devoted to their jobs of making our lives easier. They truly deserve our respect and thanks.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Joshua Junior

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Sight, Touch Tagged With: gratitude, mindfulness, resilience

Self Pep Talk

Evelyn Herwitz · December 9, 2025 · 2 Comments

It’s only December and it feels like January here in Massachusetts. Rolling up in a ball and hibernating sounds enticing. It’s hard to get myself out of the house, let alone out of bed in the morning. When I sit too long at my computer, I stiffen and need to rouse myself.

But I know that if I don’t get up and out, I’ll feel even worse. Moving is what keeps me moving, getting blood circulating in my brain and into my fingers and toes.

So, I kept a commitment on Friday morning, even as it was only single digits outside, to go with a friend to a special awards luncheon an hour’s drive from here for a project we’d worked on for our fair city. It was uplifting and fun and just an all-around good experience. On Saturday, I made myself walk, bundled up, to synagogue, and then later spent a pleasant afternoon studying texts with two good friends.

Then on Sunday, Al and I went to Hartford, Conn., to celebrate our 41st anniversary (which is actually today). Why Hartford, you ask, when Boston, with all of its cultural attractions, is just an hour away? Because there is a wonderful art museum there, the Wadsworth Atheneum. We also took in a ballet performance of The Enchanted Toy Shop by a local conservatory and had a really nice Italian dinner after. None of which cost anywhere near what Boston costs, and the street parking on weekends is free.

And, despite 21 degrees outside as I write on Monday afternoon, I’m about to head out to Pilates and to do some errands. And I have my acting class tonight at our local conservatory.

All of this reminds me, even as my instinct is just to burrow under the covers, that I really do better when I stay active—mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Being physical is a real challenge this time of year, but the more I move and keep stimulating my brain, the more those physical challenges seem manageable. As I keep telling myself.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Lydia Reclining on a Divan, c. 1882, possibly by Mary Cassatt, Wadsworth Atheneum

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Sight, Touch Tagged With: body-mind balance, managing chronic disease, mindfulness, resilience

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About the Writer

When not writing about living fully with chronic health challenges, Evelyn Herwitz helps her marketing clients tell great stories about their good works. She would love to win a MacArthur grant and write fiction all day. Read More…

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Recent Posts

  • Second Skin
  • Try, Try Again
  • What If?
  • Crowned
  • What We Take for Granted

I am not a doctor . . .

. . . and don’t play one on TV. While I strive for accuracy based on my 40-plus years of living with scleroderma, none of what I write should be taken as medical advice for your specific condition.

Scleroderma manifests uniquely in each individual. Please seek expert medical care. You’ll find websites with links to medical professionals in Resources.

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