Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

Hearing

How I Spent My Spring Vacation

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I’m back home since last Tuesday night, back on East Coast time, and nearly caught up on sleep, after an intensive 12-day journey with Al to Germany. As is my way, I packed a lot into our itinerary, based in part on more research for Novel 2, which is set in Weimar Germany, and in part on things I’ve always wondered about and wanted to visit, and in part on catching up with good friends there.

We flew direct to Frankfurt-am-Main, Germany’s financial center, and used it as a hub for day trips by train to various points of interest, including Kassel, home of the Brothers Grimm for most of their adult lives; the Rhine River Valley, speckled by castles, hillside vineyards, and lovely towns; Worms (pronounced Vorms, rhymes with forms), which was a famed center of Jewish intellectual life in the Middle Ages and is home to the oldest Jewish cemetery in Europe; and Heidelberg, a renowned university city and site of castle ruins.

From Frankfurt, we took the 4-hour high speed train to Berlin, and had a guided tour of the Schöneberg district, where my mother grew up around the corner from Albert Einstein, and the location of JFK’s famous “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech in 1963; visited a variety of spectacular museums, where we saw art by Paul Klee and Gerhardt Richter; as well as learned about life in East Berlin and under the surveillance of the Stasi secret police. We also visited a wonderful puppet museum with an extraordinary collection and curators who filled me in on some history I’d been seeking.

On top of that, we had a lovely and meaningful visit with our friends, who treated us to delicious meals and took us to another beautiful and historic Jewish cemetery, the largest in Europe. Last Monday we took the train back to Frankfurt, stayed overnight, and then flew home. I was exhausted, but it was well worth it. And that’s the very short version of our travels.

What do all these things have in common? I’m thinking a lot about German folklore and how it informed culture and society in the 1930s, as well as the heritage of German Jewish communities. I’m also thinking a lot about art and censorship, which are central to my novel. And I’ve always wondered about castles on the Rhine. Fun fact: they were built by princes who wanted to collect tolls from ships traveling up and down the river—the very definition of robber barons.

I’m still processing all that we explored. I will be thinking about this trip for a long time. Grateful we could go and return home safely. Here are just a few pics of what we saw. Enjoy!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

The Scam I Almost Fell For

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Bad actors are everywhere these days. Last week, I finally was able, with some tech support, to reinstall my computer virus scanner, run a sweep, and reassure myself that I did not download a virus a few weeks ago when I accidentally opened one of those fake alert screens that scream at you that you absolutely must save your computer by calling or clicking their blinking red link. (I immediately turned off my computer).

This weekend, the scammer came by phone. I saw a call from my credit card company on my cellphone and answered it. A man’s voice inquired if I had recently made a $1,300 charge on Amazon, which I had not. It was supposedly made by someone in Dallas. He needed me to confirm my full credit card number (he listed the first six digits) to cancel the charge and give the last four digits of my Social Security number.

As I was getting my card from my wallet, a little voice in my head piped up. Why would he need my credit card number, let alone part of my SSN? I’ve dealt with my credit card company’s fraud unit before, and they don’t work this way. Also, on the few occasions when there has been a fraudulent charge on my account, they first contact me by text, and all it takes is a confirmation of the error to deny it. Plus, when I have had to call them to cancel a lost card, there is always noise in the background, as if the person works in an open office space. No background voices on this call. Then there was the phone number I was speaking to, a Boston area code, rather than an 800 number.

So, I asked the guy on the phone, “How do I know you work for [my credit card company]?” He got irritated, then downright mad. He claimed that the person in Dallas had actually used my cell phone number to call and try to get the charge approved. This made absolutely no sense. He said if I didn’t act now to give him what he requested to cancel the charge, I’d have to wait until Monday to reverse it. This also made no sense, since my credit card company’s fraud unit is available 24/7. I told him I would not give my credit card number over the phone and was going to end the call. His ultimate retort? “I’m going to hang up in your face!”

So, there!

After this weird exchange, I blocked the number on my phone and checked my credit card transactions online to see if there was any pending $1,300 charge. There was not. Then I called the company’s fraud unit to double-check, to let them know about the scammer, and to give them the phone number that had shown up on my cellphone. The woman I spoke with was professional, polite, and appreciative. And there were other folks in the background.

Why didn’t I hang up right away? I had been trying to take a nap when my phone rang and was not all there. The caller ID said the name of my credit card company. And he did suck me in with his claim about the $1,300 charge. Thank goodness I woke up enough to realize what was going on.

So, once again, I share this adventure as a public service. Bad actors are everywhere these days. Be prepared.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Gratisography

Inflection Point

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Monday dawned bright and bitter, with a sparkling five inches of snow weighing down evergreen boughs. As I write, I’m wrapped in my warmest long sweater coat, grateful to be inside, even as I enjoy the view. My appetite is back after last week’s close encounter with a norovirus, for which I am also grateful.

I am writing this on Monday afternoon, glimpsing a flash of a red cardinal in the yews beyond my window, because I have chosen not to watch the inauguration of our 47th president. I have never missed a presidential inauguration until today. I am refusing to watch, because I need to set boundaries for my emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. In the weeks leading up to today, I have struggled to stay calm.

Our nation is at an inflection point. Democracy is at serious risk. Political power is for sale, and fear is the powerful’s cudgel.

How to stay sane and healthy—and be a responsible citizen in our country’s time of need? I have a few priorities, at the outset:

Stay informed by reliable, independent, accurate news sources. My new favorite is The Contrarian, which was launched last week by former Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin and ethics attorney Norm Eisen. Their commentary on the inauguration was priceless—sharp, insightful, and funny, which is a great salve.

Limit consumption of the above so that it doesn’t consume all of my attention. Not yet sure what the right balance is. This is a work in process. My blood pressure will be my guide.

Call my Senators and Congressional Representative to express my concerns. Here in Massachusetts, I’m fortunate to be represented by ethical politicians with a lot of experience, who share my values. But I’m also trying to encourage friends and family elsewhere to do the same. You can find your Congresspeople here. Our voices matter, especially collectively.

Invest my energy locally, to improve my community. For several years I have been involved in efforts to preserve and grow our city’s urban forest and strengthen our ability to withstand climate change. This volunteer work is very rewarding and has literally been saving my sanity. And the trees we plant will outlast whatever happens in Washington.

Write. I continue to work on Novel 2 and seek a home for Novel 1. My art is my way to understand my world. It is an outlet for angst and a refuge. It is both the most difficult work and the most essential.

This journey is not the one I expected to be traveling at this point in my 70 years on the planet. But here we are. The only thing that is certain is the present moment. And the only thing we can control is how we choose to respond.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

What Comes Next, Comes Next

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The election is over. It is not the result I had hoped for. For now, I am just trying to keep my head on straight and focus on what’s in front of me.

And so, I took a walk Sunday afternoon, in the sharp, unflinching November light that reveals each detail of bark and lichen and crumbled leaf. A friend had mentioned a lake not far away that you can circumnavigate via a pontoon bridge that connects to a woodland trail. The weather was pleasant, not too cool, not too hot. And I needed to clear my head.

It took me about 45 minutes to walk the full route. Water gurgled as it lapped the pontoon bridge, a popular attraction for families pushing strollers. A gaggle of teen boys asked me to take their photo against a backdrop of sun-illumined lake. Children ran ahead of their parents, delighting in the novelty of walking across water. Others whined until they were picked up and carried by moms, “just for a little while.”  The woodland walk was less traveled, peaceful, more conducive to sifting and sorting my emotions.

What struck me most, however, along the whole route, was the number of different languages I overheard. That, and the friendly greetings of strangers. Whatever the outcome of this election, we are a big-hearted country made up of people from all over the world who call America home. Many of us, myself included, are children of immigrants and, yes, refugees. Whatever happens, we must remember that. Our diversity, our generosity, our kindness—these are our true strengths.

Here are some photos. Hope you enjoy.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Coping Strategy

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Stress is contagious this Election Day. If you google “how to avoid election anxiety,” you’ll find a plethora of articles with titles like “Last-minute tips for coping with election stress and anxiety” or “Don’t let election anxiety get you down” or even “I’m a Therapist: Here’s How I’m Coping With Election Anxiety.”

Most of the tips are common sense:

  • Be mindful. Focus on the present moment.
  • Limit your intake of political news, polls, and social media.
  • Practice self-care. Pursue activities that give you joy.
  • Worry less. Do more to support your candidate in constructive ways that work for you.
  • Breathe.

I’m trying to do all these things. But I am also a political news junkie. For me, being as informed as possible via a range of trusted sources helps me to feel ready for whatever comes next. This is not for everyone. But it’s just the way I’m wired.

At the same time, I am also doing my best to focus on what’s in front of me. Editing for my clients is a great meditation. Working on Novel 2 is a dive into the world of my imagination, where time is suspended. Cleaning the house brings the satisfaction of putting things in order that are within my control. Taking walks clears my head. Watching anything that makes me laugh refreshes my heart. Reading great novels is an essential escape, as well as an immersion in another writer’s art. On Monday nights, I’m back to my acting class, which is wonderful.

Hugs help, too.

So, Dear Reader, sending you good karma and serenity for today and whatever comes next. If you haven’t yet, be sure to vote. See you on the other side.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Phil Hearing