• Mind
  • Body
  • Sight
  • Hearing
  • Smell
  • Taste
  • Touch
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

  • Home
  • About
    • Privacy Policy
  • What Is Scleroderma?
  • Resources
  • Show Search
Hide Search

Hearing

Let It Snow . . . Sort Of

Evelyn Herwitz · November 27, 2018 · Leave a Comment

It’s chilly and damp and just plain yucky outside as I write on Monday evening. I have my legs wrapped in a blanket to ward off the cold, even with the heat on in my home office. I’m wearing sweatpants and two layers of sweaters, plus my wrist warmers. Every so often I take a break to walk around and get my circulation going.

Ah, November in New England. It was brutally cold on Thanksgiving. Fortunately, I only had a short run from the car to our cousins’ front door, and otherwise stayed inside. The weather outlook this week is alternately rainy and chilly, but at least not snowy again for a while. Famous last words.

Every year, around this time, I try to stave off my winter blahs by reading the long range winter weather forecasts. It’s kind of my own version of wondering if the groundhog will see his shadow. Knowledge is power, right? If I know how cold it’s supposed to be, then I can be prepared.

Well, so far, the predictions for the Northeast U.S. are mixed. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), we’re supposed to have a warmer than average winter up here. The southern states are supposed to get more precipitation than normal. You can see the whole forecast here.

On the other hand, Boston forecasters are expecting a stormier winter season, drawing on the El Niño effect and historical data. Ugh.

I know, I know. I need to get over it. Whatever comes will come. It’s just the transition is always hard. In any case, I had my snow tires put on last week. At least my car is ready.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Emil Vilsek

Share this:

  • Share
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Touch Tagged With: how to stay warm, managing chronic disease, Raynaud's, resilience, winter

The Poppies Grow

Evelyn Herwitz · November 13, 2018 · 6 Comments

Sunday dawned sunny and brisk here, one of those sharp-shadowed November days when the light accentuates every ridge of bark and edge of brick like a finely detailed etching. I bundled up in multiple layers and headed downtown for our city’s annual Veteran’s Day parade, not out of habit, but because this was no ordinary November 11. It marked the 100th anniversary of the end of World War I, and I wanted to be present.

For the past few years years, I have been working on a novel set in the Great War, in 1915, and my research has given me a deep respect for the tremendous sacrifices made during that horrific conflagration, as well as for the ways in which the Treaty of Versailles that redrew post-war boundaries on three continents shaped so many of the geopolitical conflicts that we face today.

Four summers ago, Al and I traveled to Europe so that I could gain a stronger sense of place for my novel. We walked overgrown trenches, witnessed corroded but still live munitions that continue to emerge from Belgian soil (the so-called Iron Harvest), paid respects to row upon row of white grave markers in military cemeteries, discovered delicate red-orange poppies waving in Flanders Fields. They flourish in old battlefields because they favor earth that has been disturbed.

And the earth was disturbed, shredded, pounded to a muddy, barren pulp. Millions upon millions died defending, gaining, losing, regaining mere yards of turf between the trenches. In the end, the so-called peace treaty for the War to End All Wars imposed such economic hardship on Germany for its aggression that Teutonic desire for revenge set the stage for World War II.

I thought about all this as I watched the bag piper stride beneath an archway made of a huge American flag held up by two opposing fire truck ladders, as a handful of aging Marines in their red jackets and caps passed me carrying the Stars and Stripes, as units of JROTC high school students marched by in uniforms, as police rumbled past on motorcycles. The crowd was thin but respectful. A little girl handed me an American flag to wave. My fingers went numb every time I took a picture, because it was just that kind of chilly New England fall day.

The parade culminated at a memorial to World War I veterans that marks one of the entry points to the city’s downtown. I had passed it many times over the years, but never actually entered—a semi-circular granite wall engraved with the names of battles where Americans died in the War’s last year, surrounding a modest plaza with a flagpole. The mayor spoke of local residents who served and died in the War. He drew parallels between then and now and the divisive, dangerous politics of our times. Other city officials made a few remarks and laid a red-white-and-blue wreath at the flagpole’s base. A soldier read In Flanders Fields by John McCrae.

When we were in Belgium, we visited the site of the field dressing station where Lieutenant Colonel McCrae, a Canadian surgeon, artist and poet, saved soldier’s lives and wrote his famous memorial lines. That is where we found the poppies, still growing. They were wild, scattered amidst the high grass, smaller than I had expected.

McCrae’s poem ends thus: “If ye break faith with us who die | We shall not sleep, though poppies grow | In Flanders Fields.” On this centennial, with so much at risk in the world, I hope and pray that we can remember the somber lessons of World War I, the tremendous sacrifice of life, the hardships and grief and loss, and find our way through this difficult time to true and lasting global trust and cooperation for the betterment of all. Nothing less than the future of our planet hangs in the balance.

Poppies in Flanders Fields, Belgium

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Share this:

  • Share
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Touch Tagged With: hands, how to stay warm, mindfulness, resilience, travel

What I Want

Evelyn Herwitz · October 30, 2018 · 4 Comments

I want to write something positive, but I’m having a hard time. The events of the past week and weekend are weighing heavily on my mind, and to pretend otherwise would be disingenuous.

Back in the ’70s, when I was in graduate school at Carnegie-Mellon in Pittsburgh, I lived in Squirrel Hill. I was not involved in Jewish life at that time, but I remember the community fondly, as an intimate, comfortable urban neighborhood where I felt safe walking any time of day or night. I received my master’s degree in public management and policy analysis from what is now the Heinz College at CMU, at a graduation ceremony in a synagogue near the university—not the site of Saturday’s massacre, but a few blocks from there.

It is heartbreaking to comprehend what happened at the Tree of Life Congregation Synagogue on Shabbat. Just as it’s terrifying to comprehend that a dozen-plus pipe bombs were sent to critics of the president last week. Thank goodness the bombs never exploded and that the alleged bomber was quickly apprehended. So much violence that the fatal Kentucky shooting last Wednesday of two people of color by a white man who had been unable to enter, and presumably attack, a nearby, predominantly black church was barely noted by the national media

I could tie these events and so much other bad news (climate change, anyone?) thematically to the issue of stress and how it affects health, so that I could relate it more directly to the focus of this blog. But what’s happening to us in America today is about much more than that. So much that I have taken for granted about our democracy feels like it is unravelling. It seems as if we have reached some monstrous tipping point, and that more blood will be shed before we get through these dark times.

I try to remind myself that I grew up in the ’60s, when there were riots in the streets, we practiced duck-and-cover in grade school against the threat of nuclear attack, the Vietnam War was raging, and political leaders were assassinated. Our nation survived all that. Somehow, we have to get through this, too.

I want to live in a country that champions empathy over narcissism, that respects the rights of individuals without shredding civility, that prizes heart over hate. I want fair and free elections. I want the voices of calm and reason and hope to prevail over the voices of anger and fear and divisiveness.

I have to believe we are all better than this. As of this writing, a group of Muslim Americans has raised more than $130,000 to help Jewish victims of the Pittsburgh synagogue massacre. This is the true spirit of America. This is the America we need to cherish and support and strengthen.

Election Day is one week from today. Please. Vote. The health and future of our democracy depends on us all.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image Credit: Zoran Kokanovic

Share this:

  • Share
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight Tagged With: body-mind balance, managing chronic disease, resilience, stress

Just Breathe

Evelyn Herwitz · September 25, 2018 · 2 Comments

This past Friday morning, I had double-header appointments at Boston Medical, an echocardiogram followed by a routine appointment with my wonderful rheumatologist, who has been my specialist for at least two decades, now.

My last echocardiogram was done a couple of years ago, one of those tests I have to repeat occasionally to monitor signs of pulmonary arterial hypertension (PAH), a late-stage complication of scleroderma. The only symptom, so far, is extreme shortness of breath if I commence intense aerobic exercising without a serious warm-up. We’ve been watching this for years, now, and I’m on prophylactic medication that seems to be protecting me from worse complications.

Most of the time, the test doesn’t bother me. It’s non-invasive, and, depending on the tech, just mildly uncomfortable. Like I said, depending on the tech. This time, let us say, it was more challenging.

First, the easy part. You lie down on your left side, with your head on a pillow. The lights are dimmed so the tech can see the computer screen more clearly. A transducer, which looks like a short, hand-held rod with a gel-covered rolling ball on top, is pressed against your ribcage, neck and diaphragm, to send high frequency sound waves through your chest wall. It’s like an ultrasound for your heart. The sound waves bounce back to the computer, which translates them into moving pictures of your heart muscle. Occasionally, the tech will turn on the audio, and you can hear your heart beating away, kind of a squishy, pumping sound that seems to reverberate from a deep well.

Now for the hard part. You have to hold your breath during certain parts of the test, so that your diaphragm doesn’t cause your heart to move around and your lungs aren’t so full that they interfere with the heart imagery. I’ve never had an issue with this in the past, but my tech on Friday had a very specific way that he wanted me to empty my lungs, first, and then take in only a small sip of air. Then hold. And hold. And hold. While he pressed really hard with the transducer on my ribcage. I have no padding there. It hurt. And I couldn’t wave my hand or ask, “Can I breathe now?”

I really started to wonder, at a few points, if I would actually be able to hold my breath long enough. Fortunately, each time, just as I thought I wouldn’t make it, he said I could breathe again. It was also reassuring to hear my heart beating when I felt like my lungs would burst. “You’re doing great,” he said. I guess so. Test results will be available this week.

By the end of the half-hour, I was very glad to get dressed and head over to the Rheumatology Department. The sun was bright, the air crisp. As I caught up with my rheumatologist, who, like me, is in his sixties, we chatted briefly about retirement. To my relief, he has no plans of retiring anytime soon. This time, I needed no permission to breathe.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image Credit: Eric Witsoe

Share this:

  • Share
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Smell, Touch Tagged With: managing chronic disease, pulmonary hypertension, resilience

Back Home

Evelyn Herwitz · September 18, 2018 · 2 Comments

Home from our summer travels for about a week-and-a-half, but already it seems like a long time ago that we were away. That’s the strange thing about vacations. You’re completely immersed in your environs while you’re there, but once you’re back, it’s almost as if you never left.

Which is why I keep a travel journal, and we take plenty of pictures (especially my dear husband). If a tourist walks in a city and leaves without a record, was she really there?

Yes, I was, with Al—in Prague, Bratislava, Vienna and Berlin. Sixteen days, four countries, a crash course in European history, spectacular scenery, wonderful art. This trip was also personal: the bookends of our itinerary were designed to honor the memory of my great grandparents, who were murdered in Eastern Europe during the Holocaust.

My mother’s father, a professor of engineering at the Technische Universität Berlin, saw the writing on the wall in 1935 when he lost his position because he was Jewish. In 1936, after five months of searching for work in the U.S., he was able to find a good job and make a new home for my grandmother and mother. But, despite a heroic effort, he was unable to convince his elderly parents, who loved their homeland, that they should emigrate, as well, until it was far too late for them to escape the Nazis. They were transported to what is now called Terezín, a concentration camp about an hour’s drive from Prague, in August of 1942, and died there in early winter of 1943.

No one in my family has ever gone to Terezín. So, with a private tour guide, we visited the camp and learned details of my great grandparents’ final months. We lit candles in their memory. Later, at the end of our journey, we joined friends in Berlin for the placement of two Stolpersteine, or “stumbling stones,” which are memorial cobblestones placed in the sidewalk next to the home where victims of the Shoah last lived of their own free will. These were powerful experiences for me, which I am only beginning to process and understand. It is one thing to know the history of World War II in the abstract, and quite another to confront such horrors in the lives of your own family.

We enjoyed uplifting experiences, as well: fairytale scenery in Prague, a day trip to Slovakia’s High Tatras amidst the Carpathian Mountains; a visit to a medieval silver mining town, also in Slovakia, one of several UNESCO World Heritage sites that we saw during our travels; extraordinary artwork by two of my favorite painters, Egon Schiele and Paul Klee, in Vienna and Berlin. And, oh, yes, some very delicious food. My hands held up, my feet wore out, but I’m so grateful that we were able to honor my great grandparents’ memory and have another overseas adventure, whatever the challenges—physical and emotional.

Here are a few highlights:

View of Prague Castle from the Charles Bridge
John Lennon Wall, Prague
Mucha stained glass window in St. Vitas’s Cathedral, Prague
Devin Castle ruins, Bratislava
High Tatras, Slovakia
Old Castle fortress, Banská Štiavnica, Slovakia
Belvedere Palace and Museum, Vienna
1936 Olympic champion Jesse Owens’ name carved in the wall of the Berlin Olympiastadion (top left column)
“Landschaft in Blau” (Landscape in Blue) by Paul Klee, 1917, Berggruen Museum, Berlin
The Stolpersteine honoring my great grandparents, Berlin

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Share this:

  • Share
  • Email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Print (Opens in new window) Print
  • Share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn

Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Taste, Touch Tagged With: resilience, travel, vacation

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 30
  • Page 31
  • Page 32
  • Page 33
  • Page 34
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 58
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to Living With Scleroderma and receive new posts by email. Subscriptions are free and I never share your address.

About the Writer

When not writing about living fully with chronic health challenges, Evelyn Herwitz helps her marketing clients tell great stories about their good works. She would love to win a MacArthur grant and write fiction all day. Read More…

Blog Archive

Recent Posts

  • Dappled
  • Down to Three
  • Wise Counsel
  • And the Winner Is . . .
  • Back to Reality

I am not a doctor . . .

. . . and don’t play one on TV. While I strive for accuracy based on my 40-plus years of living with scleroderma, none of what I write should be taken as medical advice for your specific condition.

Scleroderma manifests uniquely in each individual. Please seek expert medical care. You’ll find websites with links to medical professionals in Resources.

Copyright © 2026 · Daily Dish Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in