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Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

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Hearing

Making Waves

Evelyn Herwitz · August 26, 2025 · 4 Comments

On Sunday, Al and I went to one of our favorite places, Block Island, an hour’s ferry ride off the Rhode Island coast. We used to vacation there when our daughters were young. Unlike just about anywhere else I can think of, the island remains a time capsule. Many of the same weathered buildings line the harbor that were there on our first visit 34 years ago. Dunes shift, as they are wont to do, but nearly half the island is protected open space, which has significantly preserved its unique charm. It is a comfort, a respite, a little slice of peace.

At our favorite beach, the sand bore traces of Hurricane Erin, which passed by the island late last week. It was packed down much farther from the shoreline, evidence of a very high tide. We had seen videos of the large traditional ferry (as opposed to high speed) arriving last Wednesday evening, rocking side to side at 45 degree angles as it neared the harbor. By Sunday, there was a bit more chop for our ferry ride than usual, but nothing truly remarkable.

Surf pounded. Little kids ran up to the wash of waves, screamed, and ran back, then raced toward it again. Swimmers flung their arms in the air as they jumped over breakers. Young and old dug moats and built sand castles. Farther up the beach, dogs romped. Paddle balls pocked back and forth. We didn’t find any sea glass, a favorite quest, but I collected a handful of smooth oval rocks of various hues to bring home.

It felt like a normal, relaxing, sunny day at New England’s Atlantic coast, at the end of vacation season. Some public schools have already started, so the crowds were thinner. At colleges and universities across the country, freshman have already arrived for orientation.

Which was the case this past Thursday at Villanova University near Philadelphia, where our younger daughter works. But that first day of freshman orientation was anything but normal.

Toward the end of Thursday afternoon, Al and I were at a celebratory event at our public library, marking the success of the first anniversary of a pilot project to plant a Miyawaki Forest in what was once a section of parking lot, a project I have been very involved in. I was chatting with a student from Rutgers University who had driven up from New Jersey to learn what we had accomplished, when I received a text from our daughter at 4:41:

Mom, I’m currently okay, but I need to let you know there’s an active shooter on campus.

I handed my phone to Al. We left immediately. As soon as we got home, I searched on my computer to see if I could find out any more details. Our daughter, who was barricaded with her boss and another co-worker in the boss’s office, relayed what little information she had—that the shooter may have been at a Mass for new students, that he was now inside the law school at the other side of campus, which was surrounded by law enforcement. That no one knew if anyone had been shot.

I didn’t know what to do. It didn’t feel real. But it was. What do you do when your cherished daughter is hiding with her coworkers from a maniac with an assault rifle, and there is no way you can protect her? I stared at my computer screen. I did some mindless work, just to do something. I texted some friends. I waited for the next text from our daughter.

Then I fell back on my journalism skills and began scouring the internet for whatever I could find that might help her and her coworkers. I checked CNN. No useful information. I found a few more details at the Associated Press, a little at The New York Times. The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that paramedics had arrived, along with police from the Tri-state area. There were video clips of students fleeing, of cop cars with flashing dome lights, of armed police approaching the law school, of snipers on rooftops. There were photos of the university green where freshmen and their parents had gathered in rows of white chairs, now empty, with white programs littered about. It was surreal, and all too numbingly familiar at the same time. Then I found a live news feed from the local ABC affiliate and passed that along. And kept finding reasons to check in. She, too, kept me posted, though news was sparse. We both knew this could go on for hours. We both hoped that the gunman would be caught soon.

About an hour-and-a-half into the crisis, she sent me another text, this time an official notice from Father Peter Donohue, Villanova’s president: There was no shooter. There were no injuries. The whole episode had been a cruel hoax.

Immense relief, all around. We were all so grateful no one was hurt, at least physically. The emotional trauma, though, is real. These are students who have spent all their years in school with active shooter drills and threats. And now, this, on what should have been a triumphant day of beginnings. And to top it off, a similar hoax took place earlier that day at the University of Tennessee in Chattanooga, a second hoax was called into Villanova on Sunday (this one affected a single dorm and was debunked in 40 minutes), and also on Sunday there was a similar incident at the University of South Carolina in Columbia. What kind of person concocts such evil schemes?

Of course, in this day and age in the U.S. of A., none of it topped the headlines. No one killed. Nothing to report. We have become so inured to this insanity and so inundated with political madness that a series of active shooter hoaxes at three universities at the beginning of the academic year merits only stories buried on websites.

Our daughter finally made it home two hours later, after waiting for security to sweep their building to be sure nothing had been missed, after Father Peter gathered the community twice, first to reassure everyone there was no danger, and again to finish the final prayer of the Mass that got interrupted by the crisis. We’ve talked numerous times, since. She is doing as well as anyone could, back to work the next day. Thank God.

Which is one of the main reasons why I really needed a trip to Block Island on Sunday, with its weathered buildings, its familiar beaches, its fresh fish dinners and sweet ice cream cones. I was able to relax for the afternoon, though I found my mind sifting through what had happened. I began to formulate this blog post. I studied myriad footprints, big and little, pressed into the hard-packed sand from hurricane-driven tides, and wondered about those children, screaming in mock fear of the waves. What would become of them in their journeys through school?

I wish we really could step back into the more innocent time the island conjures. But we can’t. We are here. We live in a dangerous, violent world, at a crossroads in the history of our nation’s democracy. It feels overwhelming to me. Then I draw on my experience these past few years, helping to create a dense, small forest next to our public library that promises to be an innovate way to ease summer’s intensifying heat in congested neighborhoods with no trees.

Our community came together to plant that forest. We had no idea when we embarked on this project that it would draw so much interest and inspire students and other communities to learn more and plant more, too. It’s essential to remember—I keep reminding myself—that most people in this world are good, honest, peace-loving people who want to nurture their corner of this planet. Even the smallest act of joining together to solve one problem for the betterment of others can create ripples that grow into waves of possibilities for the greater good. Doing my best to maintain that focus, imagine what could be, and work toward it one small step at a time, rather than get mired in all the darkness, is my only way forward.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

 

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Taste, Touch Tagged With: anxiety, resilience, stress, vacation

How I Spent My Spring Vacation

Evelyn Herwitz · June 3, 2025 · 6 Comments

I’m back home since last Tuesday night, back on East Coast time, and nearly caught up on sleep, after an intensive 12-day journey with Al to Germany. As is my way, I packed a lot into our itinerary, based in part on more research for Novel 2, which is set in Weimar Germany, and in part on things I’ve always wondered about and wanted to visit, and in part on catching up with good friends there.

We flew direct to Frankfurt-am-Main, Germany’s financial center, and used it as a hub for day trips by train to various points of interest, including Kassel, home of the Brothers Grimm for most of their adult lives; the Rhine River Valley, speckled by castles, hillside vineyards, and lovely towns; Worms (pronounced Vorms, rhymes with forms), which was a famed center of Jewish intellectual life in the Middle Ages and is home to the oldest Jewish cemetery in Europe; and Heidelberg, a renowned university city and site of castle ruins.

From Frankfurt, we took the 4-hour high speed train to Berlin, and had a guided tour of the Schöneberg district, where my mother grew up around the corner from Albert Einstein, and the location of JFK’s famous “Ich bin ein Berliner” speech in 1963; visited a variety of spectacular museums, where we saw art by Paul Klee and Gerhardt Richter; as well as learned about life in East Berlin and under the surveillance of the Stasi secret police. We also visited a wonderful puppet museum with an extraordinary collection and curators who filled me in on some history I’d been seeking.

On top of that, we had a lovely and meaningful visit with our friends, who treated us to delicious meals and took us to another beautiful and historic Jewish cemetery, the largest in Europe. Last Monday we took the train back to Frankfurt, stayed overnight, and then flew home. I was exhausted, but it was well worth it. And that’s the very short version of our travels.

What do all these things have in common? I’m thinking a lot about German folklore and how it informed culture and society in the 1930s, as well as the heritage of German Jewish communities. I’m also thinking a lot about art and censorship, which are central to my novel. And I’ve always wondered about castles on the Rhine. Fun fact: they were built by princes who wanted to collect tolls from ships traveling up and down the river—the very definition of robber barons.

I’m still processing all that we explored. I will be thinking about this trip for a long time. Grateful we could go and return home safely. Here are just a few pics of what we saw. Enjoy!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Taste, Touch Tagged With: travel, vacation

The Scam I Almost Fell For

Evelyn Herwitz · April 8, 2025 · 2 Comments

Bad actors are everywhere these days. Last week, I finally was able, with some tech support, to reinstall my computer virus scanner, run a sweep, and reassure myself that I did not download a virus a few weeks ago when I accidentally opened one of those fake alert screens that scream at you that you absolutely must save your computer by calling or clicking their blinking red link. (I immediately turned off my computer).

This weekend, the scammer came by phone. I saw a call from my credit card company on my cellphone and answered it. A man’s voice inquired if I had recently made a $1,300 charge on Amazon, which I had not. It was supposedly made by someone in Dallas. He needed me to confirm my full credit card number (he listed the first six digits) to cancel the charge and give the last four digits of my Social Security number.

As I was getting my card from my wallet, a little voice in my head piped up. Why would he need my credit card number, let alone part of my SSN? I’ve dealt with my credit card company’s fraud unit before, and they don’t work this way. Also, on the few occasions when there has been a fraudulent charge on my account, they first contact me by text, and all it takes is a confirmation of the error to deny it. Plus, when I have had to call them to cancel a lost card, there is always noise in the background, as if the person works in an open office space. No background voices on this call. Then there was the phone number I was speaking to, a Boston area code, rather than an 800 number.

So, I asked the guy on the phone, “How do I know you work for [my credit card company]?” He got irritated, then downright mad. He claimed that the person in Dallas had actually used my cell phone number to call and try to get the charge approved. This made absolutely no sense. He said if I didn’t act now to give him what he requested to cancel the charge, I’d have to wait until Monday to reverse it. This also made no sense, since my credit card company’s fraud unit is available 24/7. I told him I would not give my credit card number over the phone and was going to end the call. His ultimate retort? “I’m going to hang up in your face!”

So, there!

After this weird exchange, I blocked the number on my phone and checked my credit card transactions online to see if there was any pending $1,300 charge. There was not. Then I called the company’s fraud unit to double-check, to let them know about the scammer, and to give them the phone number that had shown up on my cellphone. The woman I spoke with was professional, polite, and appreciative. And there were other folks in the background.

Why didn’t I hang up right away? I had been trying to take a nap when my phone rang and was not all there. The caller ID said the name of my credit card company. And he did suck me in with his claim about the $1,300 charge. Thank goodness I woke up enough to realize what was going on.

So, once again, I share this adventure as a public service. Bad actors are everywhere these days. Be prepared.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Gratisography

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Filed Under: Hearing, Mind Tagged With: mindfulness, scams, stress

Inflection Point

Evelyn Herwitz · January 21, 2025 · Leave a Comment

Monday dawned bright and bitter, with a sparkling five inches of snow weighing down evergreen boughs. As I write, I’m wrapped in my warmest long sweater coat, grateful to be inside, even as I enjoy the view. My appetite is back after last week’s close encounter with a norovirus, for which I am also grateful.

I am writing this on Monday afternoon, glimpsing a flash of a red cardinal in the yews beyond my window, because I have chosen not to watch the inauguration of our 47th president. I have never missed a presidential inauguration until today. I am refusing to watch, because I need to set boundaries for my emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being. In the weeks leading up to today, I have struggled to stay calm.

Our nation is at an inflection point. Democracy is at serious risk. Political power is for sale, and fear is the powerful’s cudgel.

How to stay sane and healthy—and be a responsible citizen in our country’s time of need? I have a few priorities, at the outset:

Stay informed by reliable, independent, accurate news sources. My new favorite is The Contrarian, which was launched last week by former Washington Post columnist Jennifer Rubin and ethics attorney Norm Eisen. Their commentary on the inauguration was priceless—sharp, insightful, and funny, which is a great salve.

Limit consumption of the above so that it doesn’t consume all of my attention. Not yet sure what the right balance is. This is a work in process. My blood pressure will be my guide.

Call my Senators and Congressional Representative to express my concerns. Here in Massachusetts, I’m fortunate to be represented by ethical politicians with a lot of experience, who share my values. But I’m also trying to encourage friends and family elsewhere to do the same. You can find your Congresspeople here. Our voices matter, especially collectively.

Invest my energy locally, to improve my community. For several years I have been involved in efforts to preserve and grow our city’s urban forest and strengthen our ability to withstand climate change. This volunteer work is very rewarding and has literally been saving my sanity. And the trees we plant will outlast whatever happens in Washington.

Write. I continue to work on Novel 2 and seek a home for Novel 1. My art is my way to understand my world. It is an outlet for angst and a refuge. It is both the most difficult work and the most essential.

This journey is not the one I expected to be traveling at this point in my 70 years on the planet. But here we are. The only thing that is certain is the present moment. And the only thing we can control is how we choose to respond.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight Tagged With: body-mind balance, mindfulness, resilience, stress

What Comes Next, Comes Next

Evelyn Herwitz · November 12, 2024 · 7 Comments

The election is over. It is not the result I had hoped for. For now, I am just trying to keep my head on straight and focus on what’s in front of me.

And so, I took a walk Sunday afternoon, in the sharp, unflinching November light that reveals each detail of bark and lichen and crumbled leaf. A friend had mentioned a lake not far away that you can circumnavigate via a pontoon bridge that connects to a woodland trail. The weather was pleasant, not too cool, not too hot. And I needed to clear my head.

It took me about 45 minutes to walk the full route. Water gurgled as it lapped the pontoon bridge, a popular attraction for families pushing strollers. A gaggle of teen boys asked me to take their photo against a backdrop of sun-illumined lake. Children ran ahead of their parents, delighting in the novelty of walking across water. Others whined until they were picked up and carried by moms, “just for a little while.”  The woodland walk was less traveled, peaceful, more conducive to sifting and sorting my emotions.

What struck me most, however, along the whole route, was the number of different languages I overheard. That, and the friendly greetings of strangers. Whatever the outcome of this election, we are a big-hearted country made up of people from all over the world who call America home. Many of us, myself included, are children of immigrants and, yes, refugees. Whatever happens, we must remember that. Our diversity, our generosity, our kindness—these are our true strengths.

Here are some photos. Hope you enjoy.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Touch Tagged With: anxiety, beauty, body-mind balance, mindfulness, resilience

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About the Writer

When not writing about living fully with chronic health challenges, Evelyn Herwitz helps her marketing clients tell great stories about their good works. She would love to win a MacArthur grant and write fiction all day. Read More…

Blog Archive

Recent Posts

  • A Great Way to Start the Day
  • Making Waves
  • Glad That’s Over
  • A Patch of Calm
  • Noodling Around

I am not a doctor . . .

. . . and don’t play one on TV. While I strive for accuracy based on my 40-plus years of living with scleroderma, none of what I write should be taken as medical advice for your specific condition.

Scleroderma manifests uniquely in each individual. Please seek expert medical care. You’ll find websites with links to medical professionals in Resources.

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