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Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

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Mind

Workout

Evelyn Herwitz · May 28, 2024 · 4 Comments

Memorial Day weekend was beautiful and warm here, a fitting beginning to the summer season. Finally, I’ve been able to go out without a jacket or coat, wearing just a sweater for an extra layer, if at all. We’ve had some rain, too, and as a result, everything is growing. Our new cherry tree has dozens of cherries, still green but getting plump. Our new blueberry bushes are filling out, too, and I’m looking forward to picking some berries in coming weeks.

The grass in our reseeded lawn, a nitrogen-restoring mix of fescue and clover, has grown quite tall, too. The clover takes a couple of seasons to establish itself (at which point the lawn becomes low-maintenance) but the grass has definitely taken hold. Meanwhile, Al has been away for the past week, visiting friends out west, returning Thursday morning. The yard is his turf, and he loves to putter outside. But at the rate the grass has been growing, by the time he comes home, I envisioned monkeys swinging from blade to blade. Or, more realistically, a happy neighborhood of deer ticks.

So, I decided that I needed to mow the lawn myself.

Now, I have never done this before. We have an old, gas-powered mulching mower, the kind with a pull starter-cord. It’s not terribly heavy, so I knew I could push it. But I wasn’t really sure how to operate it. So, I asked a mechanically-skilled friend who lives up the street to give me a lesson.

He inspected the oil and gasoline levels and adjusted the height, because I didn’t want to mow too close to the ground and chop off all the clover that has formed. It took him several tries to start the mower, because it had been sitting idle over the winter. Then I tried, but I didn’t have the grip or arm strength to yank it hard and fast enough. So he started it again for me. All I needed to do was grip the bar that controls on/off, push and mow.

Which I did. It was not terribly difficult, but it was not easy, either. The hardest part for my hands was gripping the bar to the mower handle, so it wouldn’t turn off before I was finished. Maneuvering it around our front yard took some pulling and shoving, especially because the grass was at least a foot tall. I worked up quite a sweat. Just as I was almost done, the mower stopped because it had run out of gas. Good timing.

Next step was to use the weed wacker to trim the borders of the lawn, but our extension cord only goes so far, so I had to leave that task only partially done. Also, the weed wacker vibrates intensely, not great for my hands.

After I put everything away, I proudly reviewed my handiwork. I could feel that I’d used muscles in my arms and legs that I haven’t challenged in a long time. It was actually good exercise, which I hadn’t expected. And the front lawn looks better, albeit far from pristine. Thanks to my good neighbor, I learned a new skill. But if I ever have to care for the lawn more often, I will definitely get rid of that old mower and buy a battery-powered version that is less polluting, more energy-efficient, and easier to operate.

That said, I accomplished my goal. And I proved to myself in the process that my hands are still capable of more than I have come to assume over my decades with scleroderma. Well worth the experiment.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Touch Tagged With: exercise, hands, managing chronic disease, resilience

Reverse Engineering

Evelyn Herwitz · May 21, 2024 · Leave a Comment

Habits are comforting. You do something a certain way, every time, that works. No surprises. You know what to do and, for the most part, how it will turn out.

This is especially true for me when I take my walks around the neighborhood. I have a certain route that I always follow, always facing traffic, always past the same houses. It’s never boring, because I always notice new details that vary with the weather and season.

But sometimes, it’s good to shake things up. On Monday, I set out on a beautiful sunny afternoon, taking a break after lunch and before my next Zoom call, up the street per usual. Except there was a big truck at the top of the street and bunch of landscapers swooshing around dirt with those obnoxious leaf blowers. Supposedly they were cleaning up, but it looked like a small dust storm.

So, I turned around and walked the other way. This turned into reverse engineering my habitual neighborhood stroll, and I realized that I was a bit confused. Even as I’ve walked this route many times, I rely on familiar visual points of reference going in only one direction as I let my mind wander. Reverse the process, and everything looks different. Where do I turn? Am I on the right street?

It was actually quite surprising. And a good way to wake up my brain.

Habits are comforting. But they’re also confining.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Wilhelm Gunkel

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight Tagged With: mindfulness, resilience

Courier Service

Evelyn Herwitz · May 14, 2024 · 2 Comments

A few weeks ago, I had a series of pulmonary function tests—a routine, annual procedure, just tracking my lungs’ status. I’ve been doing these tests at a local hospital for decades, now, so I continue to do the procedure there to keep a comprehensive record.

Only one problem: the hospital’s electronic medical records do not speak to my providers’ electronic medical records, either here at home or at Boston Medical. So, I have to track down my test results each time, get a printout, and bring them to my Boston Medical pulmonologist for our next appointment.

Now, you might wonder, why not have the tests done at Boston Medical? Their EMR speaks to my local providers’ EMR, and vice versa. And the answer is: I don’t want to have to make yet another trip to Boston for yet another test.

HIPAA regulations do not make this process any easier. As of this PFT appointment, the respiratory tech could not give me any printouts. I signed a bunch of forms to be sure the results got to my local rheumatologist, who had ordered the series for me. I also signed forms to send them to my Boston Medical rheumatologist. But, having learned to be a skeptic about the efficiency of medical systems sharing information with one another, I decided to get a hard copy to bring with me, just in case.

Where to start? Seems like the obvious place would be the hospital’s medical records department. I looked up the number online and placed a call, only to get a message that the number was no longer in service. No info about whom to call or how to get any help. Not encouraging. I contemplated going to the hospital in person, but reconsidered. I was not in the mood to beat my head against the wall.

I knew the results were available, because I had received a message in MyChart to that effect. But when I went to look in my electronic medical record, all I found was a blank page. Aargh.

So I called my local rheumatologist’s office and asked if they could get me a hard copy. Fortunately, I spoke with a very helpful nurse who could see the actual results online (only viewable by the provider, not the patient, for some dumb reason). She put in a request to my rheumatologist to get me a printout.

Lo and behold, a day later, I got a message that the results were waiting for me. All I had to do was drive over to their office and pick them up. I could have had the printout mailed, but I wasn’t sure I’d receive them before my Thursday appointment. And so, on a sunny Monday afternoon, I took time out of a busy day to get my test results, which were, as promised, waiting for me in an envelope with my name on it.

Dealing with a chronic illness requires a lot of managing—not only your own health, but also coordinating all your specialists and keeping track of a ton of information. I’ve been at this for many years, and I take it mostly in stride. But I always wonder: Why does it have to be this complicated? And why can’t I see any test result that is my own when I want to? And why must EMRs from different systems be unable to share my information, even if I authorize it? In 2024?

Sometimes, it feels like yelling into a rain barrel.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Lobby Card from the 1925 film “The Pony Express” via Wiki Commons

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Smell Tagged With: interstitial lung disease, managing chronic disease, pulmonary function tests, resilience

Birthday Jaunt

Evelyn Herwitz · May 7, 2024 · 2 Comments

Covid over (despite a scare last Monday when I developed a sore throat that, fortunately, resolved on its own), Al and I celebrated my birthday last Wednesday and Thursday with a quick trip to New Haven and New York City. My goal was to see a couple of art exhibits, one at Yale and the other at the Neue Galerie in Manhattan. The weather was sunny, the art stunning, the food excellent.

We stayed overnight in New Haven at a hotel that functions solely on electricity and is fossil-fuel-free, the Hotel Marcel, named for Marcel Breuer, a Bauhaus luminary who had originally designed the building as the corporate headquarters for Armstrong Rubber Co. Converted to a hotel with a commitment to sustainability and many curated Bauhaus details, it aims to be the first certified “passive house” hotel in the U.S. by the end of next year.

So, it was a fascinating trip, on many levels. Here are some of my favorite pieces from the Yale Art Gallery (no photos allowed at the Klimt landscape exhibit at the Neue Galerie). Photo above is one of my favorite NYC views, the constellation mural and lights on the ceiling of Grand Central Station. Enjoy!

Edvard Munch, Toward the Forest I, 1897
Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, Schlemihl’s Encounter with His Shadow, 1915

Joan Miró, Jeune fille s’evadant (Girl Escaping), 1968
El Anatsui, Society Woman’s Cloth (Gold), 2006
Paul Klee, Heitere Gebirgslandschaft (Joyful Mountain Landscape), 1929
Wassily Kandinsky, Mit baumtem Kreis (Multicolored Circle), 1923
Josef Albers, Skyscrapers A, ca. 1929

 

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Sight, Taste, Touch Tagged With: body-mind balance, mindfulness, resilience, travel, vacation

Spring at Last

Evelyn Herwitz · April 30, 2024 · 2 Comments

On Sunday, I walked outside without a coat for the first time this year. What a blessing, especially after feeling so cooped up 10 days ago with Covid. It’s been spring on the calendar for more than a month, but this was the first day that really felt springy.

As far as I can tell, I’m done with the virus. Whatever lingering sinus congestion (mild) is now attributable to allergies (the downside of spring). When I went for a routine pulmonary function test on Friday, at first the respiratory tech was not sure if she could administer it to me, given my recent Covid experience. But fortunately she was able to check with the hospital’s chief of infectious diseases, who agreed with my expectation that, given revised CDC protocols, I was free and clear.

(In case you’re not aware, the new guidance basically says that after 24 hours free of fever without OTC meds and no symptoms, you can go out masked. After five days of masking, you no longer need the mask, which is where I was on Friday, eight days from no symptoms, thanks to Paxlovid.)

I completed the test, which is never easy at this point, but the good news was that my diffusion rate (not stellar) had not really changed—which has been the case for several years now. So that was encouraging.

And a relief after my other health debacle last week—skillfully scratching my cornea in my right eye on Thursday when I was putting in my scleral lenses. I wasn’t sure, at first, why my eye was bothering me with the lens in place, because it bathes my eye in saline. But once I removed it, my eye continued to smart, and going outside in bright sunshine was truly uncomfortable.

Don’t try driving with a scratched cornea. I did okay, but my eye was tearing and I could barely keep it open. Bad idea. Very bad idea. Back home, after flushing my eye with drops, I used some eye gel and covered my eye with gauze and paper tape for several hours, which made it tolerable.

Fortunately, on Friday, before the PFT, I saw a specialist at the local college eye clinic, who assessed it and thought I was on the mend, though he was prepared to do an emergency debridement if need be. Thank goodness that wasn’t necessary. And I was fine by the weekend.

So, all the more reason to be glad to walk outside without a coat or a jacket or even a sweater on Sunday. No more Covid. No more eye pain. Just sun and flowers and blooming buds on our new cherry tree. A good way to begin a new week.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Mind, Sight, Smell Tagged With: body-mind balance, COVID-19, managing chronic disease, mindfulness, resilience, Sjogren's syndrome

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About the Writer

When not writing about living fully with chronic health challenges, Evelyn Herwitz helps her marketing clients tell great stories about their good works. She would love to win a MacArthur grant and write fiction all day. Read More…

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I am not a doctor . . .

. . . and don’t play one on TV. While I strive for accuracy based on my 40-plus years of living with scleroderma, none of what I write should be taken as medical advice for your specific condition.

Scleroderma manifests uniquely in each individual. Please seek expert medical care. You’ll find websites with links to medical professionals in Resources.

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