Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

body-mind balance

Rainbow Fingers

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On Sunday afternoon, I was sitting in my home office, making plans for the week, when I leaned back in my chair and glanced at the ceiling. There were dozens of rainbows, scattered everywhere. I looked down at my desk and saw more rainbows, dancing across my hands.

The source was the mid-afternoon December sun, fracturing through my crystal pen holder. I tried to take a picture of my left hand with my right, holding my phone. But this was an impossible feat, given current ulcers. So I grabbed my small tabletop tripod, rigged up the camera, and caught the image, above . . . though not without some difficulty, because the Earth was turning and the sun’s angle was shifting, even within seconds.

Change is the only constant. Beauty is fleeting. But if you pause to pay attention, glorious moments abound.

May your day be full of rainbows.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Party Crasher

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Just when it seemed like we could finally enjoy a semi-normal holiday season, with safe family gatherings if all are vaccinated, and even the possibility of eating indoors at a restaurant again post booster, along comes Omicron.

We still have a lot to learn about what appears to be a highly contagious Covid “variant of interest.” It will be a couple of weeks before scientists can determine if Omicron can defy the vaccines, although there is reason to believe that the vaccines, especially with a booster, will still protect against serious illness.

In any case, the same safety precautions continue to apply: get vaccinated, get a booster if you’re 18 or older and at least six months out from your full dose, wear a mask in public, practice social distancing, and get tested if you are exposed to someone who has Covid or if you have symptoms.

I am trying to focus on the positive. I’m really grateful that our family are all boosted. We had a great visit with extended family over Thanksgiving weekend, all were vaccinated, and it felt like the Before Times. And so far, so good, I feel fine. I hate having to wear a mask in public, but I can deal with it. It does not impinge on my personal liberty. I am glad to do my part to protect myself and others.

Perhaps this latest development will finally convince the hold-outs to get the jab. Probably that’s wishful thinking. Clearly, more vaccines are needed throughout the world to save lives and make the transition to just another virus we learn to live with.

And so, the pandemic drags on. Stay safe out there.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Bernard Hermant

What I’m Grateful For

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What a difference a year can make. Last Thanksgiving, our younger daughter couldn’t come home from Philly because of Covid risks. We had a small celebration with our eldest, who lives only an hour away. But the holiday was overshadowed by all the uncertainty and infections and deaths wrought by the pandemic.

This year, we’re looking forward to all four of us being together on Thursday and to seeing extended family over the weekend. We’re all vaccinated and boosted, so I’m much more relaxed about it than I was last November.

So, of all that I’m grateful for this holiday—our family, dear friends, a nice home in a peaceful neighborhood, a supportive community, the ability to work for myself and pursue my own writing, relative good health despite scleroderma, and more—the thing I am most grateful for this Thanksgiving is the Covid vaccine.

It is an absolute miracle. It is worth the temporary side effects. It prevents serious illness. It saves lives. It has protected me for many months, now. I fear how I would have fared during the Delta wave this summer without it. As cases again surge in Europe and here in the U.S., primarily among those who are not vaccinated as colder weather drives us indoors, I profoundly hope that more people will realize the incredible gift of this scientifically sound and safe vaccine, and get protection for themselves and others around them.

This is my 500th post on Living with Scleroderma. I could never have imagined, when I started this blog on January 3, 2012, that I would be writing about surviving a global pandemic nearly ten years later. Just typing that sentence is mind-boggling. We can never know what is coming next. My hope for you, Dear Reader, is that you make the most of each and every day, whatever it brings—and bring your best to it. That’s really all that any of us can ever hope to do.

Be well, and happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Eric Tompkins

Winter’s Breath

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The city swept our streets last week, clearing mounds of brown leaves that neighbors had raked or blown into piles along the curb. Then the wind blew and rain fell and more leaves speckled lawns and sidewalks and pavement.

The trees always win, and that’s fine with me. Fallen leaves return nutrients to soil. And I like their sound and earthy smell as I scuffle through them. A child’s pleasure, it’s one of the rewards of forcing myself out the door to take my walk when it’s colder and the sun sets too early. My neighbors wear warm coats and wool hats as they walk their dogs. We all feel winter’s breath.

My fingers, too, are registering the approach of colder weather. The heat is on in our home, and my skin is dry. I’m up to four digital ulcers again, after a really long stretch of only one or two over the summer and well into fall. For now, no infections, although I’ve been on and off antibiotics for months, and my right thumb is not happy with my typing.

This morning I see my dentist, who had a new flipper made for my missing tooth. I’m hoping it will be easier and sturdier than Version One, which I’ll also have her check. Since I got my implant two weeks ago, the flipper no longer fits. I have yet to decide if this false tooth was worth the money, but I also have at least two more months to wait until I can get my crown and have all my teeth again—that is, assuming that the other lower front tooth, which is also resorbing, can stay put for a while longer.

So it goes. Managing my scleroderma is always a process of fine tuning every day. After 40 years, it’s just part of my routine—time consuming, but mostly white noise. I prefer to focus on living.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Johannes Plenio

Falling Back

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On Sunday we made the big shift, setting clocks back an hour to Eastern Standard Time and befuddling our brains in the process. Wait, the sun is nearing the horizon and it’s only four o’clock? Every year we go through this rigamarole, and every year I feel the darkness settle.

Sunlight in November is precious. I used to hate this month when we turn back the clocks, bringing nighttime all the more near. But in recent years I’ve come to appreciate it, despite too-early sunsets and crumbly brown leaves. The light is stark. It casts bare branches silver by day and coats them gold by late afternoon.

Nowhere is November light more beautiful than on Cape Cod, where Al and I spent the past weekend. We walked beaches at sunset, nature preserves at Noon, rediscovered a beloved bookstore frozen in time since the sixties, ate many good meals, and just enjoyed a much needed break. Here are some of my favorite photos from our trip. Enjoy!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.