Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

mindfulness

Crossroads

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I find it difficult to write about anything, given the weekend’s terrible news here in the U.S. So I share with you an excerpt from President Biden’s wise words Sunday night. Whatever your politics, we all need to take this to heart. Period.

Tonight, I want to speak to what we do know: A former president was shot. An American citizen killed while simply exercising his freedom to support the candidate of his choosing.

We cannot—we must not go down this road in America. We’ve traveled it before throughout our history. Violence has never been the answer, whether it’s with members of Congress in both parties being targeted in the shot, or a violent mob attacking the Capitol on January 6th, or a brutal attack on the spouse of former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, or information and intimidation on election officials, or the kidnapping plot against a sitting governor, or an attempted assassination on Donald Trump.

There is no place in America for this kind of violence or for any violence ever. Period. No exceptions. We can’t allow this violence to be normalized. . . .

Disagreement is inevitable in American democracy. It’s part of human nature. But politics must never be a literal battlefield and, God forbid, a killing field.

I believe politics ought to be an arena for peaceful debate, to pursue justice, to make decisions guided by the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution. We stand for an America not of extremism and fury but of decency and grace.

All of us now face a time of testing as the election approaches. And the higher the stakes, the more fervent the passions become. This places an added burden on each of us to ensure that no matter how strong our convictions, we must never descend into violence.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Kristaps Ungers

Sew It Goes

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I spent the Fourth of July sewing. My project: a midnight-blue knit pencil skirt. It was an easy project, and I finished it Friday morning.

I needed a win. The longer term sewing project I’ve been struggling with for months, a tailored wool blazer, has gone through two pattern tests (muslins or toiles), and though I’m getting closer to the right fit, it will require a third toile that I don’t feel like doing right now. Among other things, it’s just too hot.

So I decided to make something simple. A good strategy. Especially since it took me an hour just to thread my serger, which is old and clunky but still sews a very clean, trimmed and overcast seam, perfect for knits. The skirt is nearly perfect. (Only I know where the mistakes are, and they are minor and don’t show.) It fits well, is comfortable, versatile, and an immediate wardrobe staple.

Another bonus: After I finished, I realized that the project had completely absorbed my attention. An excellent escape from all the stress of our current moment in history. What better way to ground myself than by creating something I enjoy wearing? So, I will be sewing more simple projects this summer, using up some of my decades-old fabric stash as well as a few new fabric purchases. No hand sewing required. I’ve found several great patterns and am looking forward to making them.

And keeping my mind clear and calm.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.I spent

Reverse Engineering

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Habits are comforting. You do something a certain way, every time, that works. No surprises. You know what to do and, for the most part, how it will turn out.

This is especially true for me when I take my walks around the neighborhood. I have a certain route that I always follow, always facing traffic, always past the same houses. It’s never boring, because I always notice new details that vary with the weather and season.

But sometimes, it’s good to shake things up. On Monday, I set out on a beautiful sunny afternoon, taking a break after lunch and before my next Zoom call, up the street per usual. Except there was a big truck at the top of the street and bunch of landscapers swooshing around dirt with those obnoxious leaf blowers. Supposedly they were cleaning up, but it looked like a small dust storm.

So, I turned around and walked the other way. This turned into reverse engineering my habitual neighborhood stroll, and I realized that I was a bit confused. Even as I’ve walked this route many times, I rely on familiar visual points of reference going in only one direction as I let my mind wander. Reverse the process, and everything looks different. Where do I turn? Am I on the right street?

It was actually quite surprising. And a good way to wake up my brain.

Habits are comforting. But they’re also confining.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Wilhelm Gunkel

Birthday Jaunt

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Covid over (despite a scare last Monday when I developed a sore throat that, fortunately, resolved on its own), Al and I celebrated my birthday last Wednesday and Thursday with a quick trip to New Haven and New York City. My goal was to see a couple of art exhibits, one at Yale and the other at the Neue Galerie in Manhattan. The weather was sunny, the art stunning, the food excellent.

We stayed overnight in New Haven at a hotel that functions solely on electricity and is fossil-fuel-free, the Hotel Marcel, named for Marcel Breuer, a Bauhaus luminary who had originally designed the building as the corporate headquarters for Armstrong Rubber Co. Converted to a hotel with a commitment to sustainability and many curated Bauhaus details, it aims to be the first certified “passive house” hotel in the U.S. by the end of next year.

So, it was a fascinating trip, on many levels. Here are some of my favorite pieces from the Yale Art Gallery (no photos allowed at the Klimt landscape exhibit at the Neue Galerie). Photo above is one of my favorite NYC views, the constellation mural and lights on the ceiling of Grand Central Station. Enjoy!

Edvard Munch, Toward the Forest I, 1897
Ernst Ludwig Kirchner, Schlemihl’s Encounter with His Shadow, 1915

Joan Miró, Jeune fille s’evadant (Girl Escaping), 1968
El Anatsui, Society Woman’s Cloth (Gold), 2006
Paul Klee, Heitere Gebirgslandschaft (Joyful Mountain Landscape), 1929
Wassily Kandinsky, Mit baumtem Kreis (Multicolored Circle), 1923
Josef Albers, Skyscrapers A, ca. 1929

 

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Spring at Last

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On Sunday, I walked outside without a coat for the first time this year. What a blessing, especially after feeling so cooped up 10 days ago with Covid. It’s been spring on the calendar for more than a month, but this was the first day that really felt springy.

As far as I can tell, I’m done with the virus. Whatever lingering sinus congestion (mild) is now attributable to allergies (the downside of spring). When I went for a routine pulmonary function test on Friday, at first the respiratory tech was not sure if she could administer it to me, given my recent Covid experience. But fortunately she was able to check with the hospital’s chief of infectious diseases, who agreed with my expectation that, given revised CDC protocols, I was free and clear.

(In case you’re not aware, the new guidance basically says that after 24 hours free of fever without OTC meds and no symptoms, you can go out masked. After five days of masking, you no longer need the mask, which is where I was on Friday, eight days from no symptoms, thanks to Paxlovid.)

I completed the test, which is never easy at this point, but the good news was that my diffusion rate (not stellar) had not really changed—which has been the case for several years now. So that was encouraging.

And a relief after my other health debacle last week—skillfully scratching my cornea in my right eye on Thursday when I was putting in my scleral lenses. I wasn’t sure, at first, why my eye was bothering me with the lens in place, because it bathes my eye in saline. But once I removed it, my eye continued to smart, and going outside in bright sunshine was truly uncomfortable.

Don’t try driving with a scratched cornea. I did okay, but my eye was tearing and I could barely keep it open. Bad idea. Very bad idea. Back home, after flushing my eye with drops, I used some eye gel and covered my eye with gauze and paper tape for several hours, which made it tolerable.

Fortunately, on Friday, before the PFT, I saw a specialist at the local college eye clinic, who assessed it and thought I was on the mend, though he was prepared to do an emergency debridement if need be. Thank goodness that wasn’t necessary. And I was fine by the weekend.

So, all the more reason to be glad to walk outside without a coat or a jacket or even a sweater on Sunday. No more Covid. No more eye pain. Just sun and flowers and blooming buds on our new cherry tree. A good way to begin a new week.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.