Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

Hearing

Stone Walls

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I’m posting a day late, again, because of Jewish holidays, again—this time, the Festival of Sukkot, which began on a Monday and Tuesday this year. Al always builds our sukkah on our back deck. It’s a three-sided booth with pine boughs for a roof, where we eat our meals and visit with friends during the holiday. You have to be able to see the stars through the roof at night. Among many concepts, Sukkot is about recognizing the transience of life, our connection to the natural world, and gratitude.

On both afternoons, in sunny fall weather, we took long walks in the woods, savoring the light illuminating brilliant foliage as maples and birches flamed red and orange and gold. As we walked trails, leaves floated down like so many graceful hang gliders, en route to the forest floor.

The air smelled moist and rich. I picked my way carefully over gnarled tree roots and rocks, along pine-needle-carpeted trails that wound around old stone walls. Ever a feature of New England forests, these tumbled grids mark long abandoned pastures, hard to imagine now in such a well-established woods. But they got me to thinking about walls, so intensely referenced these days.

Which led me to reread Robert Frost’s Mending Wall, a poem with timeless resonance. A few verses (you can read the full poem here):

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast. . . .

I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go. . . .

One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’ . . .

Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offense.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That wants it down. I could say ‘Elves’ to him,
But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather
He said it for himself. . . . .

The stone walls we passed in the woods, what was left of them, were dark as the surrounding trees, speckled with golden leaves. No one has mended them for at least a century, maybe more. And no one has minded. What once was essential matters no more. Unseen, leaves drift to the forest floor.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Dispatch from Medicare Part D

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I’m posting on Wednesday, a day late (hopefully, not a dollar short), because Monday and Tuesday were Rosh Hashanah, and in the run-up to the Jewish New Year and a lot of cooking for company, I ran out of time to write a post for my normal Tuesday morning blog schedule. In the midst of all that, however, I was also in the midst of a struggle with my Medicare Part D insurance company about a medication I’ve been on for decades. Fortunately, it has a happy ending, but it’s also a case study in the need to be your own health care advocate . . .

For decades, I’ve been taking Evoxac (generic name is Cevimeline) to help me compensate for dry mouth due to Sjogren’s Syndrome, a not-uncommon autoimmune companion to scleroderma. This has always been routinely covered by any employer-based health insurance plan, usually for about a $10 co-pay for 90 pills. Under our previous coverage, I’d received bulk orders, but my supply and refills had finally run out. When I saw my rheumatologist at Boston Medical a couple of Fridays ago, I asked him to call in a prescription to the Walgreens I now use under my new Medicare Part D plan.

Within an hour, I received a text that the pharmacy was out of stock for that med, but would order a supply for me. Fine. I still had enough pills for several days. By Tuesday, however, I’d not received any word about the prescription’s status, so I called Walgreens. Lo and behold, the problem wasn’t just a matter of inventory; my Cigna plan had turned down the request because Cevimeline is not in their formulary. If I wanted to fill it without coverage, the price tag was over $500.

What??? First of all, why hadn’t I received a text about the rejected coverage? And more importantly, when I surveyed Part D plans last spring, I had reviewed all my meds, and this one was definitely on the list of covered drugs. I know formularies can be changed without notice, one of the more outrageous issues with our health care system, but it had never happened to me before. My next step was to research Cevimeline via Canada, at a more affordable price. Not available, to my dismay.

So I called Cigna. Now, I must admit, the customer service people were polite and very helpful. Not what I expected. I was forwarded to their coverage unit and learned I needed to apply for a coverage appeal. It would take 72 hours, once they received documentation from my rheumatologist that I needed this medication. But, wait, I explained, I now have no pills left. So the service rep put my request on 24 hour turnaround. So far, so good.

Next step: Follow up with my doc’s office to be sure they sent the needed info ASAP. Forget messaging through MyChart. That would take too long. So I called. But here’s where new systems of consolidated call centers at health care providers comes into play. Although I was able to confirm that Cigna had faxed their info request, I could not get through to my doctor or the nurse I know who handles refills and pre-authorization requests. I simply could not get past the gatekeeper customer service rep at Boston Medical. He was pleasant enough, but had no power to do anything other than try to reach the nurse and, when she didn’t answer, leave a message and put a note in my electronic file that I was out of pills.

This was not going to suffice. No point arguing with him. Instead, as soon as I hung up, I emailed my rheumatologist directly (I’ve had his email for years) and the nurse (who has always helped me in the past), explained the situation, and waited for a response. By late that afternoon, the nurse responded that she’d called Cigna and my case was “in process.” Great, I thought.

But no word from Walgreens by the next day. So I called Cigna again Wednesday morning. Sure enough, case “in process” meant they had just sent the info request, but not heard back from Boston Medical. So I emailed the nurse again with what I’d learned. She got on the phone within hours and sent them what they needed. Thursday morning, first thing, I received a call from Cigna that the prescription had been approved.

Now the question remained: how much would this cost? The other part of my dilemma with Part D now is that I have landed in the infamous “donut hole,” which essentially means I’ve exhausted my insurance’s more generous contribution to my meds and now must pay about 25 percent of the cost, which is a lot with most of my meds, until I pay something like $5,000 out-of-pocket. Turns out the high price I was quoted by Walgreens was for a three-month supply. With the approval, the cost was significantly reduced, but there was a confusing price range.

So on Friday, I went to Walgreens, to be sure that the prescription would go through, and to find out the cost. It did go through, thank goodness. First cost I was quoted: about $150. Was this for one or three months? Three months. Okay, so how much for one month? Just under $30. Hmmm. There’s a big math error somewhere, but the under $30 price suited me fine. Again, they were out of stock. As of Monday afternoon, I got a text that my prescription was filled and ready for pick-up. And that’s just what I’m going to do after I finish this post.

Moral of the story: Never let an outrageous drug price quote stop you from advocating for what you need. And be sure to get private emails from your trusted health care providers. (As a side note, after I ran into a similar call center roadblock with reaching my cardiologist a few months ago, I told him about it at my last appointment, and he gave me his personal secretary’s contact info.) Persistence pays.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Mathew Schwartz

Summer’s End

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Here in New England, it’s officially fall. Time, alas, to let go of my favorite season. But we’ve been blessed with summer weather these past few days, a parting gift. Al and I took advantage of the 80s temps and sunny skies to enjoy a long afternoon hike on the Central Massachusetts Rail Trail.

It was a fitting way to savor the season’s end—as well as a meaningful way to appreciate the beauty in our own backyard, especially on a weekend marked by worldwide demonstrations to protest inaction on climate change and the deeply disquieting news that a third of North America’s birds have vanished since 1970, due to loss of habitat, declining insect populations, pesticides, and predators (read, cats).

The Rail Trail includes the ruins of a former woolen factory, its tumbled stone foundations enveloped by encroaching forest. A rusted turbine sits in a sun dappled clearing like an abandoned sculpture. The remaining wall of a dam presides over goldenrod. Nature has its ways, both subtle and severe, of reminding us that it will always have the last word. It’s long past time that we start listening, hard.

Please walk with me . . .

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

View from the Acropolis

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Two days ago, I awoke at five to the sound of roosters crowing. It was our last day of vacation in Greece, at our last destination, the isle of Hydra (the ‘h’ is silent), and time to finish packing before our early morning ferry back to Athens. We had made a grand tour over two weeks, starting in the nation’s capital, then on to the island of Crete, then north to Thessaloniki, back down the peninsula to Delphi, landing on this Aegean jewel for our final weekend.

Neither Al nor I had ever been to Greece. I’d always wanted to see the Parthenon, the ruins of the ancient temple to the goddess Athena, atop the Acropolis of Athens. More than that, though, now seemed the appropriate time to visit the birthplace of democracy. With so much at stake here and abroad, I needed perspective and inspiration.

We found both. As one of our tour guides explained, democracy only succeeds when everyone participates. When citizens choose not to vote, not to be invested in the business of government, that is when demagogues step in to fill the vacuum. In fact, the ancient Greeks had a word for people who preferred not to be involved in public affairs: the transliteration is idiotes, which is the etymological root of idiot.

Make of that what you will. For me, walking through ancient ruins, contemplating the great civilizations that have come and gone, it became clear as the crystal turquoise waters of this stunningly beautiful country that we can’t take anything for granted. It’s up to each and every one of us to ensure that our democracy survives and thrives in these very challenging times.

Here are a few of my favorite images from our travels. Enjoy.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

And a Good Time Was Had by All

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For years, Al has been telling me and our daughters about Woodstock. He was 18 in August of 1969 when he accepted an invitation from friends to drive from Massachusetts to Max Yasgur’s farm in Bethel Woods, N.Y., for what he thought was “some kind of arts festival.” Indeed. Amidst 400,000 others, he and his friends managed to plant their sleeping bags a third of the way up the hillside from the huge soundstage, with a great view of all the acts—except for Jimi Hendrix, because they left before he closed out the show, since they wanted to get back home and had tickets for his upcoming Boston concert. But that show was cancelled. A year later Hendrix died of a drug overdose. Al regrets the decision to leave early, to this day.

One of the acts he did see, close up, was the Saturday afternoon breakout performance by Carlos Santana and his band. So when we learned that Santana was headlining the Saturday evening fiftieth anniversary of Woodstock at Bethel Woods this past weekend, Al really, really wanted to go and share one of his fondest experiences with the three of us.

It took some convincing. I’m not a fan of huge crowds. Tickets cost nowhere near the $18 Al paid fifty years ago. (Really. He still has the ticket stub.) Affordable lodgings were hard to find. The timing was not great given other travel plans. And what if it rained? But it meant so much to my husband that I agreed. Our daughters were enthusiastically on board. I found us an Air BnB a half hour away, got tickets before everything sold out, and worked out all the logistics. And, boy, was it worth it.

The grounds at Bethel Woods Center for the Arts, now an established performance venue, are beautiful, bucolic, and immaculate. There is plenty of room to stroll around, even with a sold-out crowd. We spent the afternoon checking out the sites, walking down the hill to the spot where Al and his buddies listened to the ’69 show (this is no longer the concert area, but a well maintained lawn with the footprint of the original sound stage at the bottom), had our picture taken at the Woodstock memorial plaque (we got to the head of the line because Al was a “Woodstock Alum”), checked out some arts and crafts, snacked and stayed hydrated (it was very hot out), and listened to pre-concert performances scattered around the grounds.

Two hours before the concert was to start, we picked up our rented lawn chairs (you can’t bring your own) and waited with the crowd for the gates to open. Al found us a great spot, with an excellent view. Everyone was in a festive mood. Lots of tie-dyed outfits, flower garlands, bouncing beachballs, the scent of weed wafting in the air.

Fortunately, given uncertain weather forecasts, I’d also brought along four blue rain ponchos, which came in quite handy for several intermittent rain showers as we waited for the show to begin. I kept checking the radar on my cellphone, hoping the band of severe thunderstorms would continue to travel north of us. Which, thankfully, it did (although there were a few disconcerting bursts of thunder and lightening nearby).

The music did not disappoint. The Doobie Brothers opened for an hour-long set and got everyone on their feet, singing and dancing along to “Rockin’ Down the Highway” and other hits. Although they didn’t perform at the original Woodstock, they were certainly of the era, and can still rock with the best.

Dark skies overtook the event during intermission, but the rain wasn’t too intense and didn’t last long. Then Carlos Santana and his amazing band took the stage, and no one cared a whit about the weather. I have loved his music for years. A CD of Santana’s greatest hits, a mix of rock, blues, jazz, and Latin rhythms, was my antidote to stressful days when I was working in Boston years ago, and would ease my soul and rush-hour commute home on many an occasion.

The man is 72 years old, one of the finest rock guitarists in the world, and living proof that age does not define us. His wife, Cindy Blackman Santana, was featured on percussion, and is equally extraordinary. The band played for more than two hours straight, and we danced—ponchos on, ponchos off—through most of the show. It ended with everyone singing and swaying arm-in-arm to Santana’s version of a ’60s anthem, “Get Together” by the Youngbloods—still as relevant all these years later. The moon emerged from behind clouds. Fireworks closed out the night. We had a spectacular time together. Al said it far exceeded his expectations.

And what, you may ask, does this have to do with living with scleroderma? It’s about living, folks. As is my way, I stressed too much about stuff that never happened, which drove me to plan appropriately for stuff that did happen (rain, getting a good parking space, avoiding after-show traffic). I didn’t get enough sleep. But the show was fantastic, I slept very soundly Sunday night, and I’m so glad I let Al talk me into going. And yes, I thanked him.

Here’s to what’s left of summer, for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere—or the end of winter, for those down under. I’m taking my annual summer break for a few weeks, and will be back in mid-September. I hope you can make your own great memories. Carpe diem.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.