Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

Sight

Dry Spell

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Dealing with dry eyes in a Northeast winter is always a challenge. Even as ours has been milder, so far (knock on wood—or not, given that the planet is warming) there’s just no escape from dry heat indoors, regardless of source. Some solve this with a humidifier, but I’ve found them difficult to keep mold-free.

My solution for my Sjogren’s for the past year-and-half, in additions to Restasis® eye drops, has been scleral contact lenses. I’m very fortunate to live a ten-minute drive from a college that specializes in health sciences, including optometry, with an excellent dry eye clinic. Dr. S, who teaches the optometry students, is a fountain of creative solutions for my eye problems and has been my guide and cheerleader as I’ve learned how to wear the lenses.

So, when I showed up for my annual check-up last week, he and the third-year student who attended me were concerned that I’m once again struggling with my dry eyes, despite the scleral contacts. The issue this time is not allergies, as it was last spring, easily solved with antihistamine eye drops. Even with the lenses inserted, the part of my eye not covered by the lenses dries out too quickly, due to the dry air at home. I need to use saline drops frequently to keep them moistened, so I’ve taken to only wearing them a couple of times a week, when I am sure I can use the drops often. But when I go for a couple of days without wearing them, my eyes get gunked up and my vision, bleary. Not fun.

Dr. S listened carefully, and then came up with another brainstorm. He had samples of a new nasal spray that is designed to treat dry eyes, called Tyrvaya®. You read that right. A nasal spray for dry eyes. There’s a trick to spraying it—you have to aim it inside your nostril toward your ear. And definitely don’t inhale, because it really stings. But miraculously, after trying this for several days, I find that my eyes are producing more tears—enough, in fact, that I can go much longer wearing my contacts without the saline drops.

Fun fact, as part of this education: Even for those without dry eyes, we all blink less when staring at a computer screen. For me, this lack of blinking becomes a big issue, exacerbating my dryness. Dr. S had another ingenious solution: an app that reminds you to blink. So I’ve added the Blinks app to my iMac. Basically, it’s an image of an eye that pops up according to the schedule you set, and blinks, then disappears. I’ve just started experimenting with it, so I cannot yet assess, but I pass that along as an option.

I don’t yet know what Tyrvaya costs once the samples run out, and I’m betting it will involved more mishegas with insurance coverage. But so far, it seems well worth trying. Will keep you posted at a later date about my progress, Dear Reader. In the meantime, remember to blink!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image:  Petri Heiskanen

Inner Workings

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An article in Monday’s Washington Post caught my eye: “Earth’s inner core seems to be slowing its spin.” This gave me pause. So, I wondered, does this mean that eventually our planet will stop spinning and we’ll all be flung into outer space in the absence of gravity? Fortunately, a sentence below the headline reassured, “This isn’t the beginning of the end times.” Good to know.

The reporter went on to explain what exactly constitutes the Earth’s inner core (“a superheated ball of iron slightly smaller than the moon”) and various ways that deep-earth scientists measure its spin, and the debate over whether the inner core is actually slowing, or slows and speeds up in cycles, and related implications. One of the most interesting takeaways—all this internal movement that I never knew about plays a key role in establishing the Earth’s magnetic field, which protects us from cosmic radiation. It also influences the length of each day. Which, it turns out, has been increasing by milliseconds for centuries.

How this unseen, spinning molten mass affects life on Earth remains one of the mysteries of our universe. Somehow, this strikes me as totally appropriate. So much of what matters in life is hidden beneath the surface. How well do we really know others, let alone those whom we’re closest to, let alone ourselves?

And so, on this snowy afternoon, as I watch huge flakes drifting by my window, bending evergreen branches in our backyard beneath a plump coat of white, I’m grateful for that mysterious ball of molten iron, whirling well beneath us, ensuring that we won’t be destroyed by cosmic rays. So much seems uncertain in this world, I’ll take it on faith. And a millisecond longer day, too.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Javier Miranda

Open Wide

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It’s not easy to open my mouth all the way. Even as the stiffening of the skin on my face has eased significantly over the past 40 years (indeed, I have plenty of wrinkles to prove it), I cannot open wide at visits to the dentist or the doctor. My dentist and hygienist and periodontist are all well-versed in managing the complications of working on my teeth. Still, those visits are never easy.

But there’s another aspect to this issue that’s less obvious. And that involves food. In particular, food in restaurants. Most particularly, any kind of fancy sandwich.

Portions are so overdone in most eateries that a panini or vegiburger can be three inches thick or more. And I simply cannot open wide enough to eat it without making a huge mess. (Holding it in my hands is another matter—as in trying not to get sauce or condiments on my bandages, which can infect my ulcers.)

My compromise, on those occasions when I’m hungering for something hearty in sandwich form, is to eat it with a knife and fork. Which works, for the most part, but it’s not the same as tasting all the ingredients together. And manipulating those utensils through thick breads with my hands is no picnic, either.

One trick I’ve learned: It’s easier to eat a sandwich cut on the diagonal than as two rectangles. That way, I can take smaller bites to start and work my way to the center.

But probably the best solution to the restaurant sandwich dilemma: a good, old-fashioned grilled-cheese-and-tomato sandwich. On our trip in December to the Connecticut shore, I had the pleasure of rediscovering this favorite from childhood. Not too thick, not too sloppy (if I wrap it in a napkin as I eat), and so satisfying.

Have any of you with this same scleroderma issue found other good options? Please share!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Lefteris kallergis

Lessons from My African Violet

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For the first time ever, I have managed to nurture an African Violet rather than kill it by drowning its roots or total neglect. In fact, a plant that was given to us last Passover has flourished to the point of blooming, just in time for New Year’s. This is nothing short of a miracle. I guess that tending my bonsai has taught me a thing or two about what my plants actually need.

To wit, a few lessons from my African Violet:

  • Check your hypotheses before acting. If the leaves are rigid, there’s plenty of moisture, even if the leaves curve downward.
  • Trust in Nature’s wisdom. The way the leaves grow protects the soil and helps the plant retain moisture.
  • Find the balance point between too much and too little. My African Violet prefers dappled sunlight, best achieved when shaded by my bonsai (perhaps they commune, too) and watering only when the soil is nearly dry.
  • Be patient. With good care, it will bloom when you least expect it.
  • Appreciate the simple things in life. There is peace and joy to be found there.

Lessons to live by as we enter 2023. Happy New Year, Dear Reader.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

The Year That Was

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When I was in elementary school, my parents loved watching a TV program on NBC called That Was the Week That Was. Biting political satire was TW3’s forté, and nothing was off limits, from abhorent civil rights murders in Mississippi* to Barry Goldwater’s 1964 presidential bid. Adapted from the BBC original, the US program ran from 1964-1965, and introduced host David Frost to American audiences in the second season. Among the regulars were Henry Morgan, Phyllis Newman, Alan Alda, and Nancy Ames. Tom Lehrer wrote some his most famous songs for the program, including Vatican Rag and National Brotherhood Week.

I was so inspired by the show that in the sixth grade, I convinced one of my friends to help me write a version of the TW3  theme song as “That Was the Year That Was” to present to our fellow classmates as an idea for a class play. Needless to say, it went over like a lead balloon, because none of the other kids had any idea what we were singing about. But I have to credit my teacher, who at least let us give it a try. And, fortunately, there was no backlash from parents over our left-leaning politics.

There’s no shortage of political satire on TV and the Internet today, certainly, but TW3 originated the genre, and I wonder what they would have made of 2022. Plenty of material to parody, from botched Covid messaging to outrageous candidates in the Midterms. I just wish today’s TV satirists would rely less on obscenities for laughs and more on the kind of wry, pointed political commentary that TW3 pioneered.

This past year has been laden with so many tragic events—brutal war, needless deaths from the pandemic, too many mass shootings (and by that I mean even one is too many, which we’ve far exceeded), over-the-top partisanship and division, devastating storms driven by climate change—that it sometimes feels hard to find something to laugh about. But we lose our sense of humor at our peril. To quote the ever-quotable Mark Twain, “The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”

As we say goodbye to 2022 this weekend and welcome (perhaps with some trepidation after the last few years) what 2023 has in store, here’s hoping that whatever comes, we all find some good reasons to laugh at our very human foibles, make some time to be silly, and face truths worth contemplating at the heart of the joke.

* Some readers may find this YouTube clip offensive. I doubt if it would be allowed on TV today, risking backlash from both ends of the political spectrum. But the musical sketch was intended to shock, for obvious reasons that still sting the American psyche today—as well it should.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: “Men, possibly broadcasting technicians, seated in front of bank of television sets at the Democratic Headquarters at the Mayflower Hotel, Washington, D.C. on election night, November 3, 1964.” Library of Congress PPOC