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Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

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Things Get More Complicated

Evelyn Herwitz · June 13, 2023 · Leave a Comment

As I write on Sunday afternoon, I am once again back in Philadelphia—where it has been mostly, but not always sunny, due to wildfire haze from Canada. Our younger daughter is on the mend, but not without a major complication last week, after we drove back to Massachusetts, which made all too clear the weaknesses in our nation’s health care system.

Last Tuesday morning, when my daughter got up, she noticed that the right side of her jaw was more swollen than it had been when we saw Dr. B Jr the day before. We assumed it was just part of the natural healing process, post surgery, as we’d been told that there is often more discomfort several days out from the procedure. I had not slept well that night, anticipating the six-hour drive ahead, but had eked out just enough rest to go. She really wanted to get back home. So, we left.

A good mix of ’70s road trip music buoyed our spirits, and we took several breaks along the way for me to eat and her to drink the protein shakes I’d made in advance and transported in a cooler. We arrived safely but exhausted, around 7:30 that evening. By this time, her jaw looked more swollen, but it was too late and we were both too tired to get to urgent care to have it evaluated. Our working hypothesis was that the steri-strips over her incision were inflaming her skin.

The next morning, she called Dr. B Jr, who would have seen her if we were still in Philly, but advised her to restart antibiotics, and if there was no improvement, to get back to Philly on Thursday for an exam. He also said to go ahead and remove the steri-strips and the superficial suture in her neck, as he’d explained at our Monday visit.

We both slept well. By Wednesday evening, she was rested and in good spirits as we were having supper together, when, all of a sudden, I noticed what I thought was a loose scab at the end of her incision. Within seconds, it morphed into a gushing stream of putrid brown goo pouring from her neck. I tried to help her stanch the flow, but there was no stopping it, even with a towel pressed to her neck. With Al giving directions, I raced her to the ER, which fortunately  took only 10 minutes.

Because she was triaged as having a neck injury, she got a bed right away and priority attention. But here is where the downside of American health care comes into play. It turns out that there is no oral surgeon on staff at our hospital, nor at the other major trauma center in our city. Nor is there any oral surgeon at any of the hospitals in the greater Boston area, with the exception of Tufts in Boston, which has a dental teaching program. Because our hospital could only treat immediate symptoms but not fully evaluate her, the plan was to drain as much as possible from the infected abscess in her neck, infuse her with strong antibiotics, do a CT scan to determine how far the abscess had traveled internally, and then transport her by ambulance to Tufts, if they would accept her.

All of this seemed extreme to me. Why would she need to be transported an hour away and admitted to Tufts for this episode? Why couldn’t we just stabilize her that night and then drive back to Philly the next day, to continue care by her surgeons? The ER docs explained that if anything went wrong on the drive, and we thought the doctors had said it was okay, then there would be a problem (e.g., they could be sued for malpractice, though that wasn’t explicitly stated).

I was also worried about her insurance, because she was out-of-network for her coverage. While we waited for her to come back from the CT scan, I asked if they had any idea how much this was already costing. On top of the ER visit, an ambulance transfer to Boston plus a second hospital intake, plus a potential hospital admission and maybe a procedure would have easily run into high five or even six figures, with no way to know how much she would be billed after the fact. Of course, if she was at great risk, we would have done whatever was needed. But was it really necessary? The person who handled billing said that they had run her insurance through their system, but because she was out-of-network, they couldn’t see what the insurance would cover. “They’ll pick and choose,” was all she could say. Not reassuring.

Around midnight, the CT scan results came back. Her neck was mostly clear, though there was some slight residual of the abscess. Her second IV drip needed to finish, and the ER team needed to assess options. As we waited, I noticed that her face was turning pinkish red. She was getting vancomycin, a powerful antibiotic which can cause a rash (a detail I’d learned years ago when I was constantly getting digital ulcer infections that required IVs), so I asked her nurse to check her. Sure enough, the IV pump rate was too fast, so she slowed it down with the doc’s input. Would anyone have noticed, I wondered, if I hadn’t been by her side?

By about 2:00 a.m., her ER doc came back to visit. They had contacted Tufts, but given that our daughter’s case was not deemed life threatening (thank goodness, but again, then why the extreme plan?), they would not admit her because of her out-of-state insurance. The ER doc had also consulted with the covering oral surgeon in Philly, who agreed that my original suggestion to drive her back later in the day made perfect sense. To her credit, the doc kept our daughter in her ER room for observation until shift change at 7:00 a.m. and sent Al and me back home to sleep.

I got about three hours after working off the adrenaline rush by doing some laundry and cleaning up the kitchen. Al picked her up on time from the hospital, and our daughter called Dr. B Sr to fill him in. He agreed that she was safe to travel and had no concerns about the plan. Since he’d already given her his cell number, he said we could contact him anytime on the way back to Philly, and he would check in that afternoon. Such a mensch. We felt very reassured, and after I rested a bit more, we set out around 2:00 p.m.

Now, of course, there is another layer of complication to this saga: When I tried to help stanch the flow of putrid pus from our daughter’s neck Wednesday night, I did not think to put on rubber gloves, and soiled the bandages on my thumbs. During the long wait at the ER, I went back home to change my bandages and start minocycline, which I always have on hand. If things got worse, I figured I could call my new ID specialist (my long-time specialist retired last year), whom I had fortunately met recently.

A few hours into the drive, my left thumb, which has a very persistent ulcer, began to buzz. Not a good sign. Just past the halfway point, as we got onto the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey, it was starting to smart. I could tell it was swelling, I was at risk for a lot of pain with a spreading infection, and it was now past 5:00 p.m. My daughter was feeling well enough to take the wheel, and I called my ID specialist’s office. Thank goodness, he was on call that evening. Over the next couple of hours, with the help of his excellent answering service, I was able to get through to him, get a prescription for a broader spectrum antibiotic, and figure out that it could be filled at the CVS near my daughter’s apartment, which would be open until 9:00 p.m. Our ETA was 8:15 p.m.

We made it. Because my Medex insurance is from Massachusetts, the prescription was not covered, but the wonderful pharmacist found a coupon to bring the out-of-pocket expense down from $75 to $22. Our daughter’s kind neighbors helped us lug all our stuff up to her apartment, and she found a good parking space. We slept soundly.

The next day, we met with Dr. B Sr and Dr. N. They reviewed all the notes and CD with part of the CT scan from the ER visit, talked at length with us, and determined that she needed a combination of antibiotics to fight back what was left of the infection. Her two jaw plates were in tact, with no sign of infection around all nine screws holding them in place (infections can dissolve bone, causing the screws to loosen, requiring more surgery). More follow-up was scheduled for Monday morning. And they knew all about the shortage of oral surgeons in our region, because there is a shortage of oral surgeons nationwide, though a concentration in the Delaware Valley, where one of the major training programs is based. She had both of their cell numbers and was encouraged to call anytime she needed help.

And so, on Sunday evening, she is doing better, thank God. The swelling has significantly receded. Dr. B Sr immediately responded to a few issues over the weekend. My plan, if all is clear after her Monday appointment, is to take the train from Philly back home on Tuesday.

But we are left with many questions: Why is our health care system so disjointed? Why should our daughter be rejected from a hospital because she lacks in-state insurance? Why is the obvious treatment plan initially rejected because physicians are more concerned about malpractice suits that what actually makes sense? Why isn’t there a better way to distribute medical specialties nationwide? Why should an antibiotic that would cost a few dollars in Massachusetts cost $75 across state lines?

Quality health care should be a right, not dependent on income or privilege or geographic location. None of this is new. But it really hit home for me this past week. I am exceedingly grateful for all the good care that our daughter has received. It just shouldn’t be this hard or confusing to get it.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Touch Tagged With: finger ulcers, managing chronic disease, medical emergency, resilience, U.S. health care system

Greening

Evelyn Herwitz · May 9, 2023 · Leave a Comment

At long last, it finally feels like spring here in Central Massachusetts. Over the weekend, the sun came out, the temperature climbed to 70°F, and all the trees that had been waiting for the signal unfurled their leaves.

We are once again surrounded by green. And so, Al and I went for a hike on Sunday. He took me to a beautiful forested park with trails around a cascading stream. I hope these photos give you the aahhh sensation I felt while hiking. Enjoy!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Touch Tagged With: body-mind balance, exercise, managing chronic disease, mindfulness, resilience

A Big Apple Birthday

Evelyn Herwitz · April 25, 2023 · 4 Comments

Last Tuesday was my 69th birthday, so what better way to celebrate than to spend it in New York City, one of my favorite places in the world. I hadn’t been to New York since before the pandemic, which was rather stunning to realize as I planned our overnight jaunt. So, we made the most of it.

On Monday afternoon, we left our car in New Haven and took the train (seniors get a 50 percent discount—a definite advantage of aging) to Grand Central, then walked to our hotel, called (how could I resist?) The Evelyn, just north of Madison Square Park in so-called NoMad. Not only was the hotel’s name appealing, but also the decor—Art Deco and themed to nearby Tin Pan Alley, the birthplace of popular American music at the turn of the 20th century. The row of buildings on West 28th Street where songs like Give My Regards to Broadway by George M. Cohan and Take Me Out to the Ball Game by Albert Von Tilzer were composed and published have been preserved, although, true to New York’s evolving neighborhoods, they now house a group of wholesale hat and scarf importers.

On Monday night, we had dinner in the East Village at Caravan of Dreams, which serves creative and delicious vegan organic dishes, quite a treat. After a restful sleep, we spent much of Tuesday at the Museum of Modern Art. There is currently a fantastic, curated retrospective of the museum’s collection, including works by German expressionists and some Bauhaus pieces that I wanted to see. But there is always so much to savor at MoMA, and it was great to be back.

We had lunch at the museum’s Terrace Cafe, and when I ordered a slice of chocolate cake with raspberry sauce (one of my favorite flavor combinations) to split with Al, he informed our waiter that it was my birthday. Soon the waiter returned with the cake and a candle and a song, and when he finished, the whole place applauded. I felt very celebrated and grateful. And the delicious cake was on the house.

All in all, a wonderful way to mark #69. Here are some photos of favorites. Enjoy.

“Storm Clouds Above Manhattan” by Louis Lozowick (1935)

 

“Modjesko, Soprano Singer” by Kees van Dongen (1908)

 

Decorative dividers, including Frank Lloyd Wright stained glass and woven hanging by Annie Albers

 

“Wind Tunnel Construction, Fort Peck Dam, Montana” by Margaret Bourke-White (1936)

 

“Broadway Boogie Woogie” by Piet Mondrian (1942-43)

 

“Dr. Mayer-Hermann” by Otto Dix (1926)

 

Bauhaus tableware

 

“Around the Fish” by Paul Klee (1926)

 

View in the Sculpture Garden

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Taste, Touch Tagged With: body-mind balance, mindfulness, resilience, travel, vacation

Harbingers of Spring

Evelyn Herwitz · April 11, 2023 · 2 Comments

At last, the weather is warming here in Central Massachusetts, and we’re turning green again. I’m always struck by the subtleties of early spring, how the tiniest buds and flowers emerge before I notice. And then, all of sudden, so much color. It always gives me such a lift.

You don’t have to go far to find these verdant harbingers. Here are a few glimpses from around our home. Enjoy!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Mind, Sight, Smell Tagged With: beauty, body-mind balance, mindfulness

Auf Wiedersehen

Evelyn Herwitz · March 28, 2023 · 8 Comments

And so, I made the trip to Germany. On my own, abroad, for the first time in my life. It was an extraordinary, transformative experience, not only for all that I saw and learned, and all the people I met along the way, but also for rediscovering that fearless explorer within, who has been hiding for decades since I first heard the word scleroderma.

As I’ve written here in recent months, the past couple of years with this disease have been more complicated. Finding myself suddenly short of breath when physically or emotionally stressed led to a battery of diagnostic exams, and ultimately a diagnosis of Type 2 Pulmonary Hypertension. Thanks to my wonderful cardiologist, I found a calcium channel blocker that works for me and mitigates the worst of the symptoms. I’ve also learned some new breathing techniques that help to avoid the problem when I start feeling stressed.

With all that, as I began to feel better again and moved past the worst of the pandemic, I felt a great need to get out—get out of my head, get out of my routine, and get out of the country to travel once more. I needed to prove to myself that I could do this on my own. Working on a novel about Germany during the Weimar Era and rise of the Third Reich, I had to see what I’d only been able to read about, and I needed to focus. I have family roots in Germany, as well. My mother and her parents immigrated to the U.S. in 1936 to escape the Nazis. So the visit was multi-layered.

As is always the case with travel, not everything went as planned. On both ends of my trip, I had to make last minute changes in my transatlantic flight—pushing back my departure from Boston by two days to avoid a Nor’easter that was threatening to wreak havoc with snow and high winds, and leaving a day early at the end when my flight home from Munich was cancelled due to a planned airport strike. (Yes, they plan strikes there, so you can work around it.) There were also two instances when the S-Bahn (commuter rail) in Berlin was running late or disfunctional, and I had to figure out how to grab a taxi to get to a tour on time. But it all worked out. And, to my amazement, I just rolled with it and problem-solved along the way.

For the most part, however, the trip was a wonderful journey, beginning with my seat mate on the way over, who was from Munich and gave me excellent suggestions for my two-night layover there. From Munich I flew to Berlin, where I stayed five nights in the very funky Hotel-Pension Funk, the former home of a silent film star that is decorated in period Art Nouveau style. I immersed in history, art, design, and architecture, including a visit to the Museum der Dinge (Museum of Things), where I learned about design standards as the country shifted from handcrafts to industrial manufacturing, and an outstanding private tour of sites and stories about Weimer Berlin. I also had dinner one evening with good friends and spent a day touring with them, as well.

From Berlin I traveled by train to Dessau, just under two hours southwest of Berlin, to stay at the Bauhaus, now a UNESCO World Heritage site. The Bauhaus School was in existence from 1919-1933, first in Weimar, then in Dessau, and finally for a brief period in Berlin before it closed under Nazi pressure. Founded by architect Walter Gropius, the Bauhaus melded art and technology to rethink how people could live and work humanely and cooperatively in post WWI society. I stayed two nights in what had been student housing, and toured the building as well as the outstanding Bauhaus Museum in the city.

From Dessau, I took a high speed train back to Munich, where I stayed at a small, very comfortable modern hotel in the Altstadt (Old City). My time in Munich at the beginning and end of the trip focused on why and how the Nazis formed there and gained power under Hitler. In both Berlin and Munich, I also visited concentration camp memorials—Sachsenhausen outside of Berlin and Dachau outside of Munich. Both tours were powerful experiences, sobering, profoundly thought-provoking. There is much dark history in Germany, but also a deep public reckoning with the past.

In Berlin, on Shabbat, I went to a synagogue that was a short walk from my hotel. The Pestalozzi synagogue was burned on November 9, 1938, on what has been called Kristallnacht, the Night of the Broken Glass, but is now referred to in Germany as the Reichspogrom—a more accurate description of the two nights when Nazis directed the destruction of synagogues and Jewish-owned businesses in pogroms throughout the country. Pestalozzi was not totally destroyed (burning it risked a neighborhood that the Nazis wanted to save) and was restored and rededicated after the war in 1947. It is a beautiful building, and the service felt much like ours at home.

Later, I realized that I was the first member of my family to set foot in a Jewish house of worship in Berlin in a century. It was one of the most important moments of the trip. I am still processing all that I experienced, and will be for some time. I am glad to be home, but I was also sad to leave. Most of all, I’m grateful to my dear Al, our wonderful daughters, many friends, and my entire medical team, who fully supported me on this adventure, and for the fact that I was able to thrive on my own.

Here are just a few images from my travels.

Nymphenburg Palace in Munich, where I walked the grounds to stay awake after my transatlantic flight.

 

Hotel Laimer Hof, my accommodations in Munich at the beginning of the trip

 

The breakfast room at the Hotel-Pension Funk in Berlin

 

Dishes and utensils at the Museum der Dinge, which reminded me of my grandmother’s china and flatware

 

TV sets at the Museum der Dinge

 

Starving Sachsenhausen prisoners drew this on the walls of the camp kitchen’s potato peeling cellar.

 

Berliner Ensemble, formerly the Theater am Schiffbauerdamm, where Bertolt Brecht’s and Kurt Weill’s Threepenny Opera debuted.

 

Inside Friedrichstadtpassagen shopping center, former site of two famous clubs, the Weisse Maus and Cabaret of the Nameless

 

Theater des Westens. The basement housed the Tingel-Tangel Cabaret, which performed biting satire of the Nazis even for a few months after Hitler became Chancellor in 1933.

 

At the Berlin Hauptbahnhof, waiting for my train to Dessau

 

The Bauhaus in Dessau, view of the Studio Building where I stayed

 

Costumes for a Bauhaus dance performance, at the Bauhaus Museum in Dessau

 

Weaving at the Bauhaus Museum by Gunta Stöltz (1928), rewoven/restored by Katharina Jebson (2022)

 

Student notes from a Bauhaus class with Paul Klee, Bauhaus Museum

 

Bike rack on the high speed ICE train to Munich

 

The Neues Rathaus (New Town Hall) in Munich

 

Munich memorial to victims of the Nazis

 

Public mural in Munich

 

Memorial to prisoners at Dachau Concentration Camp Memorial Site

 

Commemorating those who died at Dachau

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

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Filed Under: Body, Hearing, Mind, Sight, Smell, Taste, Touch Tagged With: anxiety, managing chronic disease, pulmonary hypertension, resilience, vacation

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About the Writer

When not writing about living fully with chronic health challenges, Evelyn Herwitz helps her marketing clients tell great stories about their good works. She would love to win a MacArthur grant and write fiction all day. Read More…

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I am not a doctor . . .

. . . and don’t play one on TV. While I strive for accuracy based on my 40-plus years of living with scleroderma, none of what I write should be taken as medical advice for your specific condition.

Scleroderma manifests uniquely in each individual. Please seek expert medical care. You’ll find websites with links to medical professionals in Resources.

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