Living with Scleroderma

Reflections on the Messy Complexity of Chronicity

Smell

Open Wide

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It’s not easy to open my mouth all the way. Even as the stiffening of the skin on my face has eased significantly over the past 40 years (indeed, I have plenty of wrinkles to prove it), I cannot open wide at visits to the dentist or the doctor. My dentist and hygienist and periodontist are all well-versed in managing the complications of working on my teeth. Still, those visits are never easy.

But there’s another aspect to this issue that’s less obvious. And that involves food. In particular, food in restaurants. Most particularly, any kind of fancy sandwich.

Portions are so overdone in most eateries that a panini or vegiburger can be three inches thick or more. And I simply cannot open wide enough to eat it without making a huge mess. (Holding it in my hands is another matter—as in trying not to get sauce or condiments on my bandages, which can infect my ulcers.)

My compromise, on those occasions when I’m hungering for something hearty in sandwich form, is to eat it with a knife and fork. Which works, for the most part, but it’s not the same as tasting all the ingredients together. And manipulating those utensils through thick breads with my hands is no picnic, either.

One trick I’ve learned: It’s easier to eat a sandwich cut on the diagonal than as two rectangles. That way, I can take smaller bites to start and work my way to the center.

But probably the best solution to the restaurant sandwich dilemma: a good, old-fashioned grilled-cheese-and-tomato sandwich. On our trip in December to the Connecticut shore, I had the pleasure of rediscovering this favorite from childhood. Not too thick, not too sloppy (if I wrap it in a napkin as I eat), and so satisfying.

Have any of you with this same scleroderma issue found other good options? Please share!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Lefteris kallergis

Frazzled

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It’s that time of year when everyone is running around trying to finish up last-minute holiday shopping, fretting over holiday menus and meal prep, and stressing over holiday travel, all while Covid once again seems to be nipping at our heels. (PSA: Please get your Covid bivalent booster and flu shot ASAP if you haven’t already!)

Which is why I was grateful to just sit and finish the Times crossword while our Hanukkah candles burned Sunday night, the first night of the eight-day festival. It was peaceful and our home smelled delicious from the latkes Al was frying. And very good they were, too!

I still have a few small gift errands to run. I’ve also, in recent years, shifted from gifts to charitable donations for family members. I ask what they’d like me to support and then make a donation in their names. Everyone feels good, and there’s no risk of the gift being delayed or late, not fitting, or ending up on a shelf. And it’s easy to do.

Still, the frenzy can be contagious, which can be fun if you like all the stimulation. For my inner introvert, however, peaceful moments watching candles burn is more to my liking.

In the midst of all this, whatever your preferred holiday mode, it’s good to know that the Winter Solstice falls on this Wednesday, December 21. Which means that this Thursday, the days will start getting longer again. The difference may be infinitesimal, but in my mind, realizing we’re making the seasonal turn here in the Northern Hemisphere is always a huge.

And with that, I wish you, Dear Reader, a joyful holiday, whatever you celebrate. Let the light shine in.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

By the Sea

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Last Friday marked our 38th wedding anniversary, and instead of the usual dinner out (often a challenge around the holidays) or maybe a concert or a show, we decided to escape for the weekend. I love discovering new places to visit, and we both love the ocean, so this time we ventured to the Connecticut shore, to Niantic, a coastal village within the town of East Lyme.

There we discovered a lovely boardwalk (actually, it’s made of concrete) along the shoreline, a park on a bluff overlooking Niantic Bay, and some great restaurants. Niantic Bay links the Niantic River to Long Island Sound, which (I never realized) is an estuary, an essential ecosystem where fresh water mingles with salt water and tides, providing a significant habitat for a bounty of marine creatures and birds. Along the beach we found many scallop shells, native to the bay, and even some sea glass.

Our inn overlooked a marina, which was a plus for Al, who always loves to check out harbors when we’re by the sea. The view was particularly beautiful at night, under a huge full moon. And a big local attraction was the Book Barn, which houses thousands of used books in many, many nooks and crannies. In fact, when I read about Niantic while researching options, that store was the clincher for me. We spent several hours there browsing and, of course, left with more books to read. (Next time, we’ll remember to clear some shelves and bring books to sell to the store, another benefit.)

On Saturday night, we walked a few blocks from the inn to see the annual Niantic Light Parade, a hometown holiday festival of festooned fire engines, local dance troupes in twinkling costumes, the high school marching band, and more. Pure Americana. See the photo of Kermit the Frog, below, along with some other favorite views.

Here’s to more adventures with my dear Al, and many more happy anniversaries to come!

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Namaste

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Staying in shape during the pandemic has been, shall we say, a challenge.

The nearby college gym, where I walked an indoor track and rode a stationary bike, shut down to non-students for months in 2020. Even when it reopened for members like me the following year, I didn’t want to risk Covid exposure. Same story for the studio where I took Pilates classes.

I tried some online classes, but that didn’t work. So, I fell back on my favorite form of free exercise, walking my half-hour route around our neighborhood. But, of course, cold weather and rain and ice presented plenty of excuses to cocoon inside.

Other than my daily morning and evening stretches, which have spared me from becoming totally inflexible, I have definitely lost muscle tone and strength. I’ve been somewhat better about taking my walks in good weather, but now that we’re entering winter here in New England, I’m having a harder time pushing myself out the door before it gets dark.

Given my recent diagnosis of Type II stress-induced pulmonary hypertension, however, something had to change. And so, after procrastinating and feeling more creaky as a result, I finally decided to sign up for an easy yoga class to build strength, flexibility, and stress-management skills.

The studio is 15 minutes from home in a lovely, historic carriage house near downtown. As soon as I walked into the space, with its soft lighting and lavender scent, I felt calmer. I introduced myself to the instructor and explained my limitations (can’t flex my wrists, limited range of motion, balance issues, stiff ankles and toes). She was welcoming and immediately helpful, setting me up with a thick yoga mat, knee pad, blanket, and blocks for support, and gave suggestions for how to modify some of the poses. Then, to my surprise, a friend showed up, so I had a buddy.

The hour passed quickly, and the pace was slow enough for my skill level. I’m pretty good at figuring out how to modify poses, although my muscles were definitely trembling with some of the balancing and downward-facing positions. But I made it through. And the most amazing thing—my back felt great afterward, a major bonus.

I returned last week with my younger daughter, who was visiting for the holiday weekend. She has more yoga experience than I do, and she really enjoyed the class, validating my assessment that the instructor is excellent and it’s the right level for me. And, it was great to be able to go together.

So, I’m going to do my best to continue. It feels good to be back in a studio setting with an expert instructor who really cares to help me succeed. It’s also great to realize that I’m not as out of shape as I thought. And finding a much-needed weekly oasis of calm? All the better.

Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.

Image: Zoltan Tasi

Backyard Ramble

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On Sunday I was feeling cranky. We needed to clean the house. I needed to get my Covid bivalent booster, but I didn’t have an appointment. Too much to do, not enough time.

Fortunately, my wise husband convinced me to get outside on a beautiful fall day to show me a new trail he’d discovered. Our Fair City has many hidden hiking trails that are a short drive from home, and he loves to explore them. This one was once home to a cider mill that has long since disappeared, but the field stone foundation remains, as well as two mill ponds and a stream that once powered the mill. The trail winds around the ponds and stream amidst oaks and maples and white pines and sassafras. Walking through the stunning fall foliage was just the antidote I needed, and I returned home refreshed. As for my booster shot, it can wait until Thursday. Hope you enjoy the view . . .


Evelyn Herwitz blogs weekly about living fully with chronic disease, the inside of baseballs, turtles and frogs, J.S. Bach, the meaning of life and whatever else she happens to be thinking about at livingwithscleroderma.com. Please view Privacy Policy here.